Attachment problems and foster kids

She is trying to control things because she is feeling out of control. We ALL do that to some degree or another. She may be doing it in unhealthy ways, but she's trying for good reason. Her life is messed up because of what adults have done. Stinks. And she's going to grasp even harder at her thoughts about her mom as long as people try to push her to accept the situation and move on with life. She'll move on when she has gotten her needs met by doing what she's doing. Just be thankful it isn't including poop! LOLAgain, EMPATHIZE. Please. She really will do better when she can. Keep lessons short and collaborative and WAY after the situation. Keep it as helping her get what she wants. Lose most punishment and reward (though some logical consequences may seem like those sometimes). Empathize some more. ANd more.