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If her therapist believes her behaviors are a result of anxiety and depression (which sounds completely reasonable with the behaviors you've posted), I certainly wouldn't push for an attachment diagnosis.
I'd even go so far as to say, put away all the books (and web sites) about attachment disorders and talk to her therapist about strategies you can use to address your concerns -- if you talk to the therapist about specific incidents, he/she can likely provide you with different strategies than you have already tried.