The great thing about her age is that you can reason with her and talk things out.
Let her know that these things are privileges, and she needs to show you that she can be responsible and follow the rules, and the more she behaves the more privileges she will get.
This is the part we're struggling with, because she doesn't want to listen or be told what she can or can't do. Having a civil conversation has become impossible without her blowing up, storming off, ignoring us or finding a way to retaliate.
I've asked her to help with cooking dinner, but she refuses.
If she was willing to listen, follow directions and be respectful, I'd be more willing to trust her, but I don't. We've been trying to explain to her that if she wants adult priviledges, then she needs to act like an adult. But she wants to be able to dictate to us what she's able to do by yelling and cussing at us.