We think we found her... help?

I have a lot of advice. Take it for what it's worth... from a guy who is in reunion with his birth mother.1. Remember this is your husband's search. He can only do this when HE is ready. 2. Getting his a-mom involved early puts your husband in a bad spot. Loyalty keeps many of us from searching. We don't want our a-parents to feel we are disloyal, that we don't love them or appreciate what they have done for us. Since they now know every move, your husband will have trouble doing anything further in the search.3. Slow down. If you are hurrying because you are eager to start your family, take a hard look at the natural sisters, then go for it. But, get a test for cystic fibrosis and other birth defects first. 4. Find a good adoption support group before making contact. I did, and it made a world of difference for me.5. Once your husband is ready, he needs to do some homework. There are many good books on adoption and reunion experience. I recommend Primal Wound, Being Adopted - The Life Long Search For Self, and The Girls Who Went Away. There are many others, too. Your husband needs to get a handle on how he feels, and some perspective on how his birth mother might feel, in order to prepare for this reunion.6. I have to say, the story of being left in a hospital does not jive with the adoption being done by a private attorney. Step back and think about it for a minute. Babies that are abandoned in hospitals are picked up by dfacs. They go into foster care then eventually they are adopted after months of legal procedures. They don't go to a lawyer's office after three days. There is more to this story. Your husband needs to go in prepared to hear something he isn't expecting.7. Although I said to slow down, that doesn't mean wait forever. Your husband needs time to prepare, and time to make that first move only when he decides he is ready. However, he should not wait too long because none of us know how much time we have left. When I searched (38yrs old), I found my b-father had passed away only months before.In summary, this is HIS search, and he needs to do it when HE is ready. Being torn between you, his a-mom, and his b-mom is just too much. Give him the information and let him do what he wants.