Disruption/rehoming question?

Kat-L, thanks for mentioning CHASK. i couldn't remember the name of it. Caddo, same for tybeemarie. she's an awesome mom dealing with a very RAD kiddo. very, very RAD. ever live with a kid with RAD? if not, you just do not understand. my son has mild RAD. the vomit. the sneakiness. the crazy lying. the spit. the gallons of pee. the pain visited on his little sister. the abuse to the pets. the random violence. the gorging. the stealing. the rages. the extreme business. the lack of need for sleep. the inability to NOT be the center of attention. parent shopping. did i mention the gallons of pee? and like i said, he's on the mild end. and he's getting better. sometimes kids DON'T get better. sometimes they get worse. sometimes they get better until they get worse again. sometimes little things trigger them--and adding kids to the mix is not a little thing. blaming the parents isn't helpful to anyone. don't you think we've already said it all to ourselves--and more? don't you think we have tremendous guilt about the what ifs? we have and we do, but after all avenues are exhausted--heck, after YOU are exhausted--sometimes there are no other choices. and we parents of RAD kids are just people. we make mistakes, we try again. and sometimes NOTHING works. our kids are just too damaged to live in a family home sometimes. and sometimes, our kids are just too damaged to live with US. some kids with severe RAD never had an attachment to their parents and leaving may not even phase them. they just move on to the next situation. and that's sad. the older kids in question may be just these kids. to keep them in a home where they are not getting better and are a danger to the other kids isn't noble or good or even smart. should they be released for adoption? i do not know. but i would bet money on the idea that the parents are trying to find the right solution for the kids, not trying to just give them away and forget. i wish i had advice. i do know that it is possible to release kids for adoption at any time. i also know it's not always easy to find a new home for a child of a disrupted adoption. sometimes help can be found through churches--especially the ones who run programs for tough kids--and those are often available for little or no cost. but please implore your friend to do the research before sending his kids someplace. make sure that there is treatment for the issues they have. God bless him. this is so hard.