"When I have children"

In my situation, which I hope is not like yours!, all of my parents have made me feel stuck in the middle quite often. Some are worse at it than others. Since bmom and bdad were not together, my kids get 3 sets of grandparents (my husbands parents makes 4 sets, but they have passed) They have felt the stuck in the middle feeling like I have. We've gotten very good at not mentioning things to certain people. I can't remember ever supporting me and my kids in lying like that. It just makes it so much easier to just not tell everything or sometimes flat out lie. But none of my sets of parents have ever met or spoken with each other, and they all seem to like it that way. And due to that choice one or the other may be left out of certain events. I leave it up to my kids as to who is invited to attend. I've gotten down and dirty a few times with them. My kids get it, and that's what matters to me. Like me, they aren't always happy about it. They don't care which set is sending them cards though, especially cards with money in them :) The grandparents all want to know, and have asked... sooooooo ummmmmm did they send a card (or gift) and ummmmm how much money was in that card????????????? LOL I think that could happen with any grandparents. But maybe not in the same way. I urge them and my kids not to play that game, ugh. It's harder for them to ask my kids things than to ask me, so I don't know much at all, and send them to the kids for their answer. BTW my kids are 18 and 28 now, so they can handle grandparents fairly well LOL Once when my son was about 15 he told amom after getting 20 bucks in his bday card from bmom "oh, um, it was 200 bucks, yeah, 200, that's what it was, 200 bucks Nana!" :woohoo: "Top that!" Does your sister have kids? I had my two first, my two abrothers (aparents bio sons) had kids after I did. I did notice a difference in how their kids were treated. BUT there is a difference in our kids, and their parents. I was more angry that they didn't share some of it with me in the room, that the difference was to be kept hush hush sort of, mainly due to them thinking it would upset me and mine. BUT We know that my kids don't have those parents or grandparents facial features, toes, skin, hair, etc. They may not have the same talents to inherit. Of course they would treat them differently in that way. I do, so that was a hurdle to overcome, for them more than me really! I was the one who said things in front of everyone like, omg she has mamaw's eyes!! how wonderful!! The looks on aparents faces was complete uncomfort. I tried to help with that. I think that is something to be celebrated. At that time I didn't know what me or my kids had inherited from anyone, so it was a bit bittersweet for us. just not somethign that should have been hidden, or taken from my neices and nephews, they deserve to celebrate that, no matter what's up with me. Aparents were the ones that didn't take it well when they heard my son has his grandfathers nose, my daughter has her grandmothers specific talent, the same hair as her cousins, my dad has the same odd migranes and he's found a cure that works, my brothers and I have the same feet! They don't want to hear that so much. They do love hearing that my daughter acts like my amom in many ways, and my son has many of the same opinions on things as his aGrandpa. So, it can be fun at times! I will tell you that I have seen, and have been told by my mom and dad, that they would much rather hang out with my kids than the others LOL One of those horrible!, but good neener neener we win moments. so, HA HA!