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I am seeking some advice about a girl I know. She was adopted when she was 5 and is now 21, I was going out with her for about 2 months but I noticed a lot of issues with her, she was always txting other men including her ex, she would pull at my magazine if I was reading, swear at me, she didn't like me talking to her adopted parents and even txt me in their living room asking when I was heading home one nite while she was sat next to me. She was always trying to cause tensions and it was always my fault, she was always talking about ex boyfriends even infront of my parents. She always had to have her own way with everything. I'm still friends with her parents and unsure if I should let them know about the issues she seems to have. Does anybody on here recognise any of these symptoms and have ideas on what the problem could be? I'm worried about her and I think she needs help
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I commend you for trying to help your ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately, your ex-girlfriend is 21 -- legally, an adult. Unless she is in immediate danger of harming herself or others, there is no way that you can get her to seek help unless she really wants it. If you say, "It seems that you are depressed," or "I think that you don't trust men because of your birthparents' situation," she is likely to swear at you, tell you to mind your own business, etc., based on your descripton of her. If you try to talk to the parents of the young woman, they may already be aware of her problems, but unable to get her to seek help. Or they may be in serious denial. In either case, anything you say is not likely to go over well. Your best bet is to decide to make a clean break. It's not a bad idea. You dated this woman for only two months -- a very short time period. You discovered that the relationship was toxic. You have every right to move on and try to find a young woman who is healthier, emotionally, and ready to commit to a committed relationship. The young woman lives with her parents, who can take action if she starts going downhill emotionally. You don't need to maintain the relationship with her parents; they aren't your in-laws. You can be cordial if you meet them on the street, or send holiday cards, but talking to them about their daughter's mental health may be inappropriate unless you have some solid evidence that she is suicidal or going to hurt someone. Sharon
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