Thank u @ preacherjt i appreciate that. I'm starting this process with a open mind and at the sametime, anticipating that most of my road blocks i foresee will come from social services in some form or another *sigh* :grr:
I admire your desire and understand it. When I started this journey almost ten years ago, my initial interest was older children too. Until I did the research. And I will caution you on this. Being a single parent is HARD. there is nobody else to take turns leaving work for a sick child, or staying at home with them. In your mind, you see these poor kids who have been written off. Of course some good love, structure, and discipline can cure them. I feel it, I thought the same.
The reality. There are some kids out there that fit that mold, BUT I'd hazard a strong prediction that there are far more who have issues so deep that they may never overcome them. There are kids who have behaviors so bad that they are a danger. There are kids who will get kicked out of school, sent home, you'll be called from work, regularly. And do know, many of these issues will be downplayed.
It s hard being a single parent to little tots with few behaviors. But to be a single parent to older kids requires a huge and strong support group. Look at yesterday's threads from HRISME about a friend who just became a single dad to six kids, three of them teens with drama.
I work in IT but as flexible as my schedule can be, I couldn't take the chance of losing my job if I got a problematic teen.
As for process, it varies from 3-6 months for training and licensing from what I have seen on here. And you may be able to inquire on an out of state child. You agency will forward your homestudy and then everything else goes through the child's state.
Good luck on your endeavors. Set firm boundaries for yourself and know your limitations.