extended birth family issues that make me want to go ugh

Thank you everyone for your advice. @Sitta, fyi, this one relative has posted a few times public criticism of my afamily though he has never met them (I should have cut him off there but I tend to forgive easily and allow varying opinions and people to remain in my life due to the fact that there is the mutual fact that no matter how good or bad we help each other grown and improve - maybe a false ideal, and a bit naive, but I do like to see the good in all people and situations). Snowwhite, I have settled on taking the same approach that you have suggested. They have issues for sure but I will not allow them to dictate to everyone how the interaction with me will be, nor will I ask anyone to "choose sides" directly nor subtly.