Disturbing News

I am trying to take what the aunt said with a grain of salt. But knowing the handful Nugget was during all the back-and-forth I don't doubt it's true. BM is pretty immature and not good at handling problems. Nugget did always look forward to visits. But I don't think it was because he wanted to see her. If she misses calls, he doesn't care. And when he asks for a visit, he will talk about wanting to see his cousin (they are about the same age and bm is living with them), not his bm. I am really getting no impression he is missing her anymore. I haven't for a long time. I think it is more a something to do, bye-bye thing. When he does see her, he pays her no attention. So I am asking myself if sympathy of BM is clouding what is best for him. Even that has been running dry due to her lack of...effort? Most of the last few visits she won't try to interact with him. She sits and talks to us. So what is the point? I don't want to cut off the relationship to the harm of Nugget. But I don't want to push a relationship that isn't there. It seems counterintuitive to the adoption process. What I'm thinking is that we cut the calls to once a week until finalization. Have the "goodbye visit" at adoption. Then one or two visits around special days or holidays a year. Maybe a birthday call? Urghhhh...I don't know. THIS IS SO HARD!!!