Make the crying stop!!!!

Sorry you took offense to my OPINION about drugging a **** child. Giving a child who is 5, 6, 7 or 8 YO anti psychotic medications when their still growing and developing, in my OPINION is irresponsible, it’s child abuse and its the easy out. ADHD is NOT a biology disorder, it’s ALL mental and the best way to address that is with discipline, rules, patients, therapy and love. But most foster parents (not all) these days aren’t willing to offer that, their not committed to these kids, you know it, I know it, and it’s just easier for us to just label our kids “ADHD” to justify putting them on prescription medication and not addressing the underlining issues. Most kids who enter into the foster care system are in good mental health prior to entering into CPS, but strangely by the time most are adopted, emancipated or aged out their so dependent on medication and haven’t develop or been taught any type of coping skills, so guess what? That‘s why they act out the way they do. It’s that simple. I was raised by old school parents, the kind who raised their kids with common sense and not with intellect, theirs a fundamental difference. so I guess when you say “come off your high horses” I guess what you really mean is lower my parenting standards, sorry not going happen.

I wish you can spend the day with my 9yo AD without her medicine. I was under the same "old school" mindset too. Thought that I could change the world with all of my worldly experience, education, and knowledge of everything about a child. And then my little girl arrived. And everything changed, and all of that experience and knowledge went out the window because I truly had no experience until I had to personally deal with her issues. You shouldn't judge others because of their choice to use medication to balance an out of control child. I did...and I had to eat my words.

Cool your jets people. Everyone has a different opinion about this issue and everyone is entitled to it. HOWEVER...no one is entitled to say what is best for someone else's child. Enough judging from all sides and watch the cursing too please. This is a family friendly site after all.

I'm sorry that you are both suffering. I can only believe that the child has no control over the crying. You know I support you , and in this case I still do. I want to offer the perspective that there might not be a "discipline method" for drug-induced crying. I appreciate that you don't have 100% control over what the child takes medication-wize. Even us newbies know that there are FPs who've been written up for refusing to give FPs psych meds! Are you able to try a "Children's Hospital" ? Not sure if you are close to Dayton or Cleveland? To encourage you, I do know of a family who went through 3 different regimines with their FC and the 3rd blend of meds. worked. They changed docs and went to a Children's Hospital...

Your are absolutely entitled to your opinion but you didn't give an educated one - you just judged me. And you still are. Your opinion is based on a non-drug exposed child raised from birth in a loving stable environment. And in my experience most kids do not enter foster care in a normal mental state...I would love to see the studies that back your opinion on that up. And of course they develop issues while in foster care - in our case we have a kid who is torn by his loyalty to his mom and the desire to live in the stable loving environment he has now seen. The difference is I DIDN'T raise him. I got him at 5 after he had been neglected by a mom on drugs for 5 years. And I spent 8 months trying YOUR way...and guess what...it didn't work. So I sought help from professionals. In your introductory thread you got very upset with people who gave you advise based on their EXPERIENCES...but you are attacking me on something you have no experience with. you seemed over your head in that thread but I didn't offer an opinion because I have never been a single foster parent or fostered teens. In my experience, foster parenting changes your opinions a lot and I have learned not to judge b/c I usually end up eating my words.

We are at Cincinnati Children's. We gave up on disciplining him for the crying...but he isn't allowed to cry in the same room that anyone else is in. That's for the sanity of everyone else in the house. Its such a hard line to walk because I get that no one parented him for 5 years and that he can't control himself. But he can't cry at school like that, we can't take him out like that. He is taking things from my son and being openly defiant and lying. Sure he has had a rough life but he also can't have a free pass...or else when he is 18 and steals and ends up in front of a judge he won't get the free pass based on his tough life. I think I am so frustrated because after a year - I feel like he has made no progress. He will most likely go home at the end of the school year and I just am not sure that any of the lessons we have tried to teach him are sticking. I think the biggest problem is that he knows he is going home and how his mom will parent him so he is just biding his time....

Let me correct you, i never got upset with you or anyone else regarding an opinion you all have or express in this thread or any other thread. As i recall correctly you are the one who suggested i come off my high horse and walk a mile in your shoes, whatever that suppose to mean. Secondly why are you trying to make this about you? I'm not judging you, don't know you, so whatever opinion i have, take it for what it's worth. And i see you like to use the word "experience" i'm still waiting on your definition or interpretation of the word.

Perhaps you need to check with your states department of health & human services, oh wait that's too much work, it's easier to just take the CW word for it, a CW who barely know his or her department guildlines, the same CW who describe a totally different child then the one who appears at your front door. Foster parents have rights to make medical decision or challenge them. Newbie or not i have common sense.