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Sounds like you do need a medicine change. I know, for sure, that the meds make my ds very defiant (ODD defiant). He gets so angry. Tonight, he was having a rage in his room, because I would not continue reading to him (he kept making noises on purpose, shining his light in my eyes and would not stop after repeated warnings). He raged for 1/2 hour, throwing everything at his door, etc. This was a mild one, and it's the first time he's done this on Metadate. And the Metadate's worn off by now. But I tend to think that the drugs somehow make him so tired. And when he's tired, he gets more defiant. Also, when he's hungry, he gets more defiant. I just don't know. It's all a puzzle. But you do probably need to talk with his doctor.
And, for the anti-med person, I was also against putting my 4-year-old on meds. I went into the evaluation, set on trying everything else. Now I know that nothing will work without medication. When you have a child who needs help, you do what you need to to help him.