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Hello everyone.
I am a step mom to a beautiful 7 year old girl. I have been for over 5 years.
She came from an abusive home. Her BM (biological mom) took off with her when she was 3 year old. They hid for over two years. When my partner located then and serve BM she started to tell us about how she couldn't handle their daughter and how she was out of control. She was five at the time. birth mom gave primary residence to my partner and agreed to every other weekend access.
The access was always off and on. BM would often cancel with very bad excuses. At this point my SD started to talk about the abuse. We contacted all agencies and had investigations done. It wasn't until one visit where her BM refused to take her for medical help when she was having an allergic reaction. We live a few hours away from each other but ended up driving there to seek medical attention.
She ended her visit early and did not want to come to the hospital with us.
Later my SD confirmed sexual abuse. Full criminal investigations were happening and BM gave up her access on the terms that once the investigation closed she would have the chance to regain them.
She never has. She has not had any contact in almost a year.
My partner is joining the military and will be shipped off to basic training soon leaving SD in my care.
Because of all the past abuse SD has been diagnosed with Disorganized Attachment Disorder, Anxiety and PTSD. Because of all those she has a lot of medical appointments and her schooling is adjusted for her to still attend but not be over whelmed. I have been the main caregiver for 2 years now.
We are looking into step parent adoption. While he is gone on military duty we need to be able to continue her medical care and educational plan. Without him here I cannot agree to any further actions that will be needed. These are serious conditions that affect her daily living and need to be addressed.
We know she wont consent but we both believe she wont contest it either as she is on social assistance with three children under the age of three and no means to do so. Her husband is not supportive when it comes to anything to do with my SD and she currently states she has no interest in continuing contact.
Is it possible to continue with the adoption even if she does contest it? Is there anything else we should know or do before continuing?
Sorry for the long post.