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Hello, I had a few general questions I was hoping someone might have answers to:
-With my fiancee, I have been full-time mom to his two kids for two years. Their mother has managed to see them a handful of times over the last two years (maybe a dozen, but certainly less than 20, including overnight visits). Recently, she did not even bother to see them over Christmas, had not seen them since Halloween and saw them for about 10 minutes in early January and hasn't even made an effort to call, let alone see them since September. The kids are 6 & 8 and honestly are worlds better off without her in their lives. My main question: when we get married, WHAT DO WE DO?
-is it important for me to adopt so we can more closely control her "involvement" (disruption) to their lives?
-what is required of the BM? Would she have to terminate her rights? We do no stop her from seeing them. She's so disinterested, its disgusting.
I think my biggest fear in all of this is if I DON'T adopt them, the level of involvement and intereference that she can create in the kids' and our future children's happy, normal lives, could turn into absolute chaos, anxiety and stress. They are FAR less stressed, anxious, naughty and out of hand when she isn't around. We have had the best past six months, being that she was only involved in about 2 hours worth of it.
So, thank you for reading my situation. Is that what is required - the BM has to give up rights? I do not think that she will stay away for a year or two years straight (I was reading some other posts about that being the most ideal situation). She's an incredibly self absorbed person and she barges into situations, mainly at her ex-inlaws (like family parties that she is NOT invited to), despite everyone's disgust, wherever she feels SHE will recieve the most attention. Regardless of how much time it earns he with her kids.
Thank you for your compassion & any help! We need everything we can get!! :confused: