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I don't do a seder at my home; I always go to friends in the area the first night and the community seder put on by my synagogue the second. The second night seder starts early, so that families with young children can attend. However, my friends don't start the seder until a bit later. This wasn't a problem last year, my son was still an infant and pretty portable (including falling asleep in the wrap carrier no matter where we are). Now he's nearly two, bedtime is early, and he doesn't do change well. He also is, as I said, a toddler, and my friend's home is not baby-proof, so he would require constant 1:1 attention. I know some people who don't bring their toddlers to the seder, but get a sitter instead, but that feels wrong. Judaism is important to me, as is including my son. What have others done? Any suggestions?
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Bring a folding high chair and a porta-crib. You are right. Kids should be at Seders. Plan ahead by talking to him about Passover and "reading" books about the holiday with him. (Example might be the Passover book in the "Sammy Spider" series.) Bring a high chair -- the kind that has straps to keep the child IN it. Use it when at the table, as long as he is pleasant and not too loud. Give him a few small toys to play with. Let him munch on matzah and other OK snacks, since the part of the service occurring before dinner is pretty long. And, if possible, seat him between you and an older child who loves "babies" and can pay attention to him. You might also want to do some silly things that will help him participate. As an example, one of my cousins, who has a son, brought a bag of "creepy crawly" things -- little toy frogs and snakes and bugs, like you might get at a party store -- to be distributed during the reading about the Plagues. If your son is in a good mood, he can get down from his chair and give creepy crawlies to everyone. And, of course, if he is awake for the Afikomen time, let him go looking for it, and reward him with a little gift, instead of money. If your son gets a little crabby or loud, try excusing yourself for a few minutes, and taking your son to another room. Let him run around very briefly, and talk to him about his manners. Then see if he can come back in to the Seder. If a short break doesn't do it, put your son into his pajamas and put him to bed in the porta-crib. Put the porta-crib in the next room, if you think he'll need you right nearby, or in a bedroom, if he needs quiet to sleep. If you are worried, put a few outlet covers in your purse and use them, but many kids can't manage to climb out of a portacrib. My daughter got used to the fact that we had a porta-crib in the trunk of the car, and that she would go to sleep in it when we happened to be at someone's house at bedtime. If your friends don't expect perfect decorum, you should be able to get by with these small tricks. And if they do expect better behavior, heck, it's not a real Seder unless there's some levity. And eventually, teach your son ALL the verses to Had Gadya (One Little Goat) and let him sing them. My daughter pulled that one year when she was about seven -- she had learned all 13 or so verses in Hebrew and sang them! It took about ten minutes! That'll show 'em! Sharon
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This is similar to the one I got for my friend's baby. [url=http://www.zionjudaica.com/New_9___Melamine_Seder_Plate___Friends-5719.asp]New 9'' Melamine Seder Plate - Friends[/url] Also, here is a neat website. [url=http://www.toddler-activities-at-home.com/celebrate-passover.html]Celebrate Passover[/url]
We survived the seder! Thanks for the advice. We actually missed the first night; C had the nasty stomach bug and was vomiting. However, second night was great. I made him a "bag of plagues" (I had a really good time figuring out what to do for each of them). I couldn't get a toddler seder plate in time, but I did find a chocolate seder plate. And a friend's child came and sat with us and kept him busy (including taking him out in the hall to play). Again, thanks for the advice. I'm thinking next year will be even better!
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