ODD vs. RAD - What's the difference?

not necessarily on the breaking/lying/manipulating. that's present in both sometimes. my oldest with ODD did all of those things. my youngest with RAD does them also. their reasons are different! i don't think i can explain it well, but Sonny did those things because he could, Bubba does it because he thinks it's a way to push me away. Sonny's aim was to show me that i could not control him coupled with his need to be oppositional. Bubba's goal is to break up with me before i break up with him. Sonny found a place of remorse for his actions once his amygdala let go of his actions. also, he sometimes was so completely hijacked that he had no memory of the things he did--and i really believe him. Bubba, no matter the level of his reaction, remembers it all and feels that it was something that we did to him. for him, it's a matter of survival to deny his responsibility for his actions. Sonny has learned how to deal with the impulse to fight. Bubba is learning--and attaching. i would also suggest an old book to you--The Explosive Child by Ross Green. it saved our lives with Sonny and is useful with Bubba.