So Bizarre - Clothing and Relative Visits

OK confession time. My first placement, a relative had been placed with a concurrent family. We came forward IMMEDIATELY when we found out about 4-5 days from the day my FFD was taken into care. I know now I made massive mistakes but it was my inexperience that caused me to do it... When I had an overnight, she woke at 3AM!!! I wasn't firm with her to put her back to bed. I sat and cuddled with her. Foster mom called me at 9:30 because she fell asleep on her couch.... I'll be honest it was disconcerting to me to go to their home and see my relative run into the foster dad's arms yelling daddy!!! After a few weeks...well when she had overnights with us she wore our clothes. We sent back the teddy bear she sent. (However, they were nice clothes not stained) I guess we were "claiming" her before we should have. Now I know we should have took that teddy bear and dressed her in the clothes she was used to. We sent clothes and gifts and foster mom explained the pain keeping track of everything. She kept everything aside in bags until she transferred. Total rookie move. She was only there 5-6 weeks. Thankfully, the foster parents and I have become friends and we now understand each other. I became a straight foster parent and totally get their point of view. They have seen me parent my relatives and protect them and realize I was just a newbie. Hopefully, BE relatives are like me. Well meaning, but totally nave.