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Hi there. I'm 25 years old, graduated college, and have an excellent job in my field of study. I got pregnant while on birth control (am terrible at remembering those pills) with a boyfriend who has never been honest with me or faithful. I was raised Catholic. My mother had an abortion when she was my age and still has regret and pain 30 years later.. A little background on me for you. I've gone back and forth this entire time between wanting to keep him and thinking that an adoption would be better for his future. The babies father has never wanted to keep him, he really wanted me to have an abortion. He cheated on me the first three months of my pregnancy but has been pretty great/okay for the last 3-4ish months. He wants to move away when the adoption is final and eventually get married. I cry all the time thinking about leaving the hospital without the baby. What am I going to do that day/night? The rest of my life? I don't want to keep him because I have student loans, I'm financially irresponsible, I live with my mom, I have trouble taking care of myself, and I'm afraid I'll stay with the birth father just because of the baby. Am I being selfish? If you have anytime to share your story or offer some advice I'd greatly appreciate it. I have no idea how to be a mom, and I know there are plenty of women out there that are ready but can't have children.. I figure I can/should help my baby, me, and a couple out through adoption. Not to mention I don't think anyone in my family or friends believes that I should keep him. I'm terrified I will regret not keeping him and will never forgive myself..
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Septembertoosoon, I somewhat had the same problem only I never graduated highschool and don't have parents to help me out. I put my daughter up for adoption (her father was also iffy when he found out I was pregnant) I regret it 110% and live with the guilt every day with no support from family for birth father. You can consider an open adoption ( I did ) but it doesn't mean the adoptive parents will always let you see the baby. I regret my decision but I thought of the baby's health. Make your own choice. I'm regretting it because I listened to the baby's father. Not myself. If your mother is willing to help , and I would try to stay with the father, but only if he actually tried to be a father to your child. If not, I would kick him to the curve, after all my stuff stopped I realized I should have listened to my own options instead of the baby's daddy. Your mental health is also important. But also think of how well the baby would grow up (living wise)
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Please remember that this is a permanent decision. You say you are financially irresponsible and have student loans. Do you have a job? You can become financially responsible. I'm not sure anyone is ever ready for parenthood... even when they think they are. Will you regret your decision? I suspect the answer will be yes, even if you remain sure you made the right decision. (41 years later, there are still times when I regret the decision even though my reunion with my firstborn is very good.) Whether you place or raise the child, your life will be changed forever. It sounds to me like the father of your baby plans to stay together only if you choose adoption. (He doesn't sound like great husband material!) Only you can make this decision. Remember you don't even have to decide before the child is born or even before you try parenting. What does your mom think about adoption? I ask because I don't think mine ever forgave me for "giving away her first grandchild." If your main concern is financial, find a financial adviser and get yourself on a good course. If you are worried about parenting, take a parenting classes. I am not anti-adoption, but it is a permanent solution so make sure you explore all your options before you decide what is the best answer for you and your child.