Really REALLY fed up with bio mom and my agency

That is awful - You do need to have your voice heard, it is good that your DH and you are on the same page. I would so want to be there - It is were me I would want DH to have me on the phone and put the phone on the table or in a shirt pocket so I could hear everything. But the phone better be on "mute" because I am not one to hold back my opinion or to stay quiet where the welfare of my little one is involved (which kind of surprises even me, and everyone thinks that I am a nice, quiet lady :D )