Turning down an adoptive placement
Ugh. I HATE saying NO. But, I know we aren't equipped to deal with this sibling group. We set our guidelines, 1 child or 2 if they're siblings. Well, it's a sibling group of 3. Our house just won't work with 3 or more. We are a 1-2 child home. I know these kids will get adopted but I hate saying no!

8 y/o girl
2 y/o boy
1 y/o girl

Fingers crossed that these little ones can get an adoptive home together.
wow, those would be great for us. Of course, all I know are ages and adoptable. I'm sure they can get a home though as long as it is safe and healthy for them to Smile
I feel bad. Ugh. But my husband and I talked about our "list" and the main thing was no more than 2 children of a sibling group. That's just our limit and I know I would go nuts with 3. We were barely used to having 1 and she was a breeze.

Just a gut feeling it's not the right placement for us.

The 8 year old has some issues with peeing her pants and hiding her underwear in her backpack, as well as ADHD that's controlled by medicine. The 1 & 2 year olds are great.

If they can't find a home together, they want to keep the 8 yr old and 2 year old together, and the 1 year old has a potential adoptive family already.

But still, even if we just went for the 8 & 2 year old, it doesn't feel completely right. I am not sure I want an 8 year old to be completely honest.

My thoughts are with them and hoping they all 3 get a home together.
Saying no is the hardest part, because once you do, you have no idea when the next call will come in.

Not only do you need to do what is best for you, but also the children. If it does not feel right, than you did the right thing. It may take awhile, but the right call will happen!
Don't feel guilty. You did the right thing by your family and by the kids. Taking children who you are not willing or able to care for is doing them a huge injustice. It's best for them to go somewhere else.
I don't really like that big of a span. I mean 8 and 2 is a world apart. At least, that's my opinion. The peeing in her pants could be sexual abuse and that is a red flag to me. Maybe the next placement will be the one!
I agree saying "No is the hardest" but you have to do what's best for your family and the children. When we started the process, our age range was 1-4 sibling set. Our first placement, 15mo/4mo. And there's a possiblity of a future sibling. My husband thought I had lost my mind and complains about lack of sleep some days but our lives as well as the children's lives are truly blessed.

Be patient. The right call will come through.
Good for you...there is nothing worse than reading posts on here about kids getting disrupted because someone felt bad and went outside their parameters and it ended badly. There will be a home for them, and someone for you guys too!
Enuresis is often a fear/anger reaction. At least with most of the kids we've had who have done it (regularly). That doesn't bother me.

But I think that not being sure about an 8yo, taking one who does have that behavior (and if that one, possibly some others), taking three when you want one or two, etc....it was wise of you to say no.

It was funny. When we were getting into this, I was like, "please, just use the bathroom." I found the "what you do with pee" song on youtube (Christine Moyers). I still cannot sing that song correctly. Then not only do I take in kids with behavioral urination, but those who use poop similarly as well as vomit. We had a 15yo we didn't know had one issue til he left leaving us presents <sigh>. Anyway, but now? I'm kinda like, "pee? well, at least we know how to deal with that one...."
It IS hard to say no! All those babies we were called for during our one month hiatus between Squeaks and Daisy- I felt so bad and prayed for each of them.

But you did the right thing! You will know when it is right. Exciting you are already getting pre-adoptive calls though! It means they know you are good parents and will be a great match for someone. Your baby(s) are still out there!!!
You did the right thing saying no. You're smart not to get into a situation that just doesn't feel right.

Hubby and I have turned down TWO adoptive placements in the past 3 months...but for very different reasons. Both sib sets (2) were a perfect match for us, but the cases had way too many avenues/holes in them to logically think they would actually get to adoption. I guess we just know too much after being burnt by our first adoptive placement we lost to RU.
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