I have a 17 soon to be 18 year old foster daughter. She is emancipation out of care in December and going off to college. She is afraid. Stupid me came up with the idea of a service dog for her numerous mental illnesses. What a mistake this has been from the beginning. We have been searching for the right dog. She of course wants everyone we see and falls madly in love and is devastated when we have to turn the dog down. This past weekend we interviewed a husky that our trainer recommended. The dog was perfect but just as we were about to sign the adoption papers, the trainer suggested he introduce him to his Rottweiler to see how the dog did with other dogs. The dog went crazy, very ferocious. So I said no. She tantrumed all the way home. Finally I could not stand it anymore and let her pick out this dog from the humane society. It could not have been a more inappropriate dog. Darn thing is so hyper. It is peeing everywhere and humping everyone. The dog is yippy and wakes the baby. But the dog is not the problem. She is. She is rude and disrespectful to everyone since bringing the dog home. Did not go to college the first day because her allergies were bothering her, and because she did not get any sleep because of this neurotic dog. Gets all bent out of shape if anyone touches her dog. We fight constantly about her taking him for walks. I have warned her repeatedly to stop yelling at me. She is six foot tall and three hundred pounds and uses her size to try and intimidate people. She is a second away from me disrupting her over a stupid dog. It is so ridiculous. All of our expectations regarding the dog were discussed prior to this but I should have known I was being suckered. I am furious with myself for allowing this to happen. I had worked so hard to get her to this point in her life, battling social workers that wanted to just institutionalize her. All summer I fought with her to get her GED , forced her to complete barista training and now have her in a good place for her future, only to be foiled by an adorable little dog that in no way will ever qualify as a service dog. I am just so frustrated. If we return this dog, she will fall apart and resort to violence. If she does not get her act together and keep up her school work, etv will take back her money and she won't have money for an apartment in December when she transfers colleges. Just really ticked at myself.
This will be a service dog. We received paperwork approving her of a service dog and are working with a trainer of service dogs. The rescue husky was said to be great with other dogs. The dogs foster mom said that it was because he was on a leash that he was attempting to attack the trainer's dog. The dog we bought is sweet and loving but hyper like I have never seen a dog. He was neutered the day we picked him up and was still jumping over baby gates and humping anything that moved. She is doing better with her attitude after I threatened to take her phone away, drop her allowance to what is required only and make her ride the local bus back and forth to her college. Since I could not get through to her why disrespecting the mother of the house was such a bad idea, I decided to show her and she saw the light. She and this dog are already bonded. She is taking him for walks. He has his first lesson on Sunday. It is a year of training. She will come home every weekend from college after she emancipates out and we will continue to pay for the training. The service dog has to be a year old and have at least twelve weeks of training before being allowed to ride public transportation. The trainer requested a bigger dog and this little thing is an America Eskimo. We read up on them and they are supposed to be very trainable. The trainer says he can train any dog. Guess we will find out. I did not take her phone or follow up on the threats as I want her to be treated like an adult but I also expect her to act like one. Hopefully things will work out. To take the dog away would destroy her
A lot changed in less than 24 hours. Dog went from stupid to sweet and loving. I'm confused at the rapid change.
I'm glad she settled down.
Dog always was sweet and loving but urinates everywhere, humps everything and never slows down for a second. I am keeping my fingers crossed that once he feels safe in this home he will settle down some. The humping could be a reaction from his recent surgery where he might be confusing the pain in his privates and is trying to find ways to eliminate it. And the hyper may be anxiety from all the recent changes in his life. But he is very loving and sweet.
Never did I call this dog stupid. I said I was stupid to start this adventure. I could easily have passed my days without the extra stress but my hopes are that this will help make her transition an easier one.
Shell be home on weekends. So how she going to get a place as a college student to take a dog? If she can't keep the dog are you? There not disposable. The moving it around will probably make it regress and pee in a new place too.
momsdawordagain
The humping could be a reaction from his recent surgery where he might be confusing the pain in his privates and is trying to find ways to eliminate it.
If you mean he was recently neutered, it is common for sexual behaviors to continue for a short time afterward.
When an animal is neutered, his body stops producing those male hormones, but he still has hormones in his system from before the surgery - it doesn't turn off like a switch. It may take a month or so for his body to reach its new hormone balance as the pre-neutering hormones are processed out of his system. Getting him neutered was a good call, but often you don't see the results instantly.
Sheena, the dog will be qualified as a service dog which means that he will be permitted to go everywhere she goes. ADA protects her and the dog from being turned away from apartment living.
I'm glad it's getting better, for everyone's sake but especially for the dog. A shelter is no place for a dog no matter how good the shelter is. With this being an American Eskimo it's unlikely that he would be put down since this breed is highly adoptable but he would definitely suffer if brought back to the shelter.
It sounds like this dog is a year old and just came to you very recently. If so, many of his problems are likely temporary and fixable. A dog that is under a year is still a puppy with puppy energy and behaviors. As he gets old he should calm down some. My girl dog is an Eskimo mix and she was a very energetic girl when she was younger. It's gotten better in time, though.
An energetic dog really needs a firm hand and consistency from day one. If he doesn't have that his behavioral problems could get worse. It's great that you have signed the dog (does dog have a name?) for training. That will make a huge difference and the trainer can help you address any problematic behavior. I would highly recommend, if possible, that the whole family attends the classes, at least at first when he's learning basic obedience. If there are other kids in the home it's super important that they go so that they too know what should and shouldn't be done with the dog. When training a dog, especially one that is a bit more challenging, it's very important that everyone in the household is on the same page so the dog gets consistent treatment. If that doesn't happen the training may not stick and he could get worse.
The peeing issue may just be that he's not housebroken yet so I would recommend starting house training right away. If he pees a lot it could also be a medical issue like UTI. Until you get him housebroken you can solve the peeing inside issue by putting a belly band on him. A belly band, in case you don't know, is a band that is put around the belly and genitals of the dog so if he pees he will just pee in the belly band. It's sort of like a diaper. You can get them cheaply on the internet or you could just make one yourself and use a pad over the genitals. You can see here what they look like: [url=http://www.bellybands.net/]The Official BellyBands.net Website!![/url]
To reduce the hyperness the best medicine is to wear the dog out by taking long walks, throwing a ball or just running around. Walking in the woods for a couple of hours as often as you can is a great way to wear any dog out. Mine just lay around all day after we've been to the woods.
As far as the humping goes this is something you will likely have to work on in training. It may get better once the male sex hormones are out of his body which can take 2-3 weeks after being neutered. I doubt that the humping has anything to do with the neuter itself. I've neutered many dogs and never seen humping happen during recovery. It's usually a behavioral issue that can be helped through training.
I'm curious, though, does your foster daughter have the means to provide for the dog if he gets sick, etc? Just one minor illness can cost you several hundred in vet bills. Who's going to pay that?
Okay, let me explain a little clearer for those of you who feel critical and are playing the Negative Nelly role. My foster daughter is in college now and will transfer to a different college in January to a city nearby. We are starting the process now so that the dog will have enough time in training to be allowed to ride the public buses and attend college with her, but it is a long process and will take time for the dog to be completely certified as a service dog. My fd will return to our home on weekends after she moves to continue training of the service dog. He should be trained to the point of being able to ride buses with her prior to her leaving here but if not, we will provide transportation for her until he is.
The dog is sweet and small but definitely in need of serious training. More importantly is that she needs to prove to us in these next few months that she is capable of providing proper care for him. If she fails to do so, the dog will not go with her when she moves but will remain with us. I have an adult son with a brain injury and he will become his service dog.
I love my foster daughter and expect her to remain a part of our lives even after she emancipates out of care. People with mental illness often take great comfort in animals. Look at the homeless person on the street that has a dog and you will see that that person takes better care of his animal than he does himself. The dog brings them great comfort. Taking him for walks encourages exercise in their owner. The dog encourages socialization. The trainer wanted a larger dog for her. He felt that it would provide better protection for her. I feel a smaller dog is more conducive for apartment living. She does not need a large dog for mobility purposes. It will alert her when her PTSD acts up. It will provide reminders for her to take her medicine. The dog will be an asset to he in many ways and keep her from feeling alone. She, like many teens that age out of foster care, has no one other than us and this dog. I am doing what I can to help make this transition easier on her.
Yes I vented. That does not mean that I quit. It will be a process. We were told that the dog was house broken and crate trained. This has shown not to be the case but that does not mean that it can not be done. He is settling down more and more each day. He is very loving, will come up to you and place his head on your lap. He is hard not to love.
I thought this was a place where one could come to vent however I see more and more that there are some people who have nothing better to do but stir the pot. One would think that as foster parents you would have more than enough drama in your life than to have to reach out and create more. I would have thought that the unity amongst foster parents would include understanding, compassion and empathy. I would have hoped for maturity considering that you are responsible for many of our most fragile and needy children. It was hard enough when my dog bit my foster child and we went through all that emotional turmoil with that. I made excuses for some of the responses I received because children and pets bring out strong emotion in all of us, but I was still astounded by how heartless some of you seemed. Get over yourselves. I know I am in the right field and my kids are everything to me. I am thankful my children are placed with me and not with you.Perhaps instead of tossing stones you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself why you feel the need to be so condescending versus supportive. That is what "baffles" me.
I'm not sure who exactly cast stones upon you as you stated in another response. I'm sorry you feel unsupported and spoken down to.
I've been flamed many a time here, some probably deserved and others I know I did not deserve. Your post (most recent) is very harsh. This IS a safe place to come and share and vent and read and learn and yes, a place to get angry sometimes.
I know I thought when I read your OP, kid tantrumed so you went to pound cuz you couldn't take it any more and FD was rewarded with a dog that was not the best choice.
You wrote: she is a second away from being disrupted over a stupid dog.
That's where I got that the dog was stupid.
momsdawordagain
Never did I call this dog stupid. I said I was stupid to start this adventure. I could easily have passed my days without the extra stress but my hopes are that this will help make her transition an easier one.
I get that you were venting, but your update post is very different (and more explanatory) than the OP. My reaction to get rid of the dog was based on what you wrote in your OP. Now I see that you have a trainer to work with and the dog has to get its certification. Whole different story.
Please don't feel judged -- I don't see where anyone is judging you or being insensitive. I see quite the opposite: People trying to offer their perspective and advice under the assumption that that's why you posted. I think even the "Negative Nellys" have good points and I'm glad they posted b/c it could help prevent someone else from making the same mistake but with a very different outcome for the dog.
I hope your FD appreciates what she has with you and that she can be successful in college and in life with this dog by her side.
Sorry guys. That was uncalled for and upon reading these posts once more, on a computer versus my iphone, I really do think I was being overly sensitive. I have not been sleeping much with the little one and the dog constantly waking her up and with the older one and my stress over whether or not she will be safe with emancipation looming in her near future. please forgive me for being a butt head.
I actually do see how you felt attacked. From your perspective, you were venting. From "our" perspective, you were looking for advice...but we also didn't have all of the information to give fully informed advice. (You didn't post full details because it was a vent!) So the advice was not on target, and came across negative. And you are right about one thing, people get very heated about pets and kids.
FWIW every dog I've gotten has spent the first few days acting like they had no sense...peeing inside, being overly clingy, etc. I think they're just claiming their space, because they eventually relax. Sounds like you've got this under control.
Yeah, most dogs calm down after a couple of weeks. I used to foster dogs and most were a pain in the butt for the first week or so. It's scary and stressful for a dog to be in a new family and home and they tend to react accordingly.
Get one of those belly bands, though. It will save you a lot of grief. It's no fun to find out the hard way that the dog has been peeing on the walls once it starts smelling. No fun at all. Trust me.
I'm glad to hear that you'll continue to be there for your foster daughter even after she ages out. It will likely mean the difference between success and failure. So many kids age out to nothing and fail miserably.
I hope it gets better with dog and teenager soon. Eskies are great little dogs and very smart. Sometimes a little too smart.