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Well yesterday I received a message on Facebook from someone saying that she was my big sister (V), and my heart just dropped. I never ever wanted this day to come. I an so blessed to have an amazing adopted family, and sometimes forget that we aren't blood related. I'm 22 now, and have known I was adopted for my whole life, and felt very confused and angry about it up until about age 21.
So I called my adopted grandfather and he confirmed that the girl I was talking to is indeed my big sister (V).
I found out my birth moms name, have her latest mug-shots, that I have five other blood siblings, and my oldest sister passed away in a tragic car accident.
Woke up as an only child, going to sleep with five siblings.
I chatted all day yesterday with V, but asked her to please not give my phone number to my mother or anyone else in the family, and I'm really hoping she stays true to that.
I never really wanted this day to come. It's cool talking to someone I'm blood related too, because I've never done that before, but its also crazy and really hard to understand.
I was the only child out of six that was given up for adoption, and all of us have different fathers, or unknown fathers. I can already tell that I had a more enriched life than V, who's a year and two days older than me, and I'm very thankful The Lord blessed me with an amazing adopted family.
I'm not really sure where to go from here. Do I continue this friendship with V? Do I add all my other younger siblings on facebook (ages 15,13,10) or no because they are too young? How do I tell my adoptive parents about all of this? How do I keep a close enough, but far away enough distance from all these people? Or should I just embrace it all?
This is all still so new for me, and since I didn't search for them, I wasn't really ready for all of this.
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I have no great advice for your particular situation. You have every right (and necessity) to set your own boundaries which may be a simple, "I'm not ready to deal with this at this point in my life." Ask your bsister why it was so important for her to find you. (What is her story.) I believe that you can't have too many siblings, btw; and always remember that love is something that multiples: it's not like a pie that gets cut into smaller and smaller pieces. Recognize that you may feel different about finding out about the genetic side of you. Take it very slowly; I encourage you not to close the door completely. This is not about not loving your aparents; it's about an possibility to know yourself more fully. Had my bson been interested in replacing his mom with me, frankly I'd have been upset! May this be a positive experience for you.
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You're not obligated to maintain a relationship with them.In all practicality, you are an only child. Nothing changes that. Biological, your birth "parents" have 4 other kids than you. You can choose to consider these biological links as siblings, or not. You didn't grow up with them, so you don't have to call them siblings if you choose to have no relationship with them.You might want to take it slow-- don't get too close, chat all day, expect a relationship with total strangers. And also not slam the door in their face either.