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Well, it's been a couple of months since I've posted anything. I look at my last post and almost laugh at how simple it is. I am now 3 1/2 weeks away from the reunion. I refuse to go back to the places in my head that were wrecking me a few months ago, what's the point, I can"t go back and change all the crappy choices I've made, did I make a lot of those choices because I was adopted? possibly, I've been dipping in and out of a couple books and the evidence would suggest so and that just makes me feel sad. I can't change the fact that I have known where she was for 8 years and didn't contact her, that is something that makes me angry and hate myself, I couldn't face up to it. I feel like there is two of me. I spent 30 years not dealing with being adopted, I stuck my head in the sand and I can't do that anymore but sometimes it all feels very surreal, does anyone else feel like that?
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ScottishSue
Well, it's been a couple of months since I've posted anything. I look at my last post and almost laugh at how simple it is. I am now 3 1/2 weeks away from the reunion. I refuse to go back to the places in my head that were wrecking me a few months ago, what's the point, I can"t go back and change all the crappy choices I've made, did I make a lot of those choices because I was adopted? possibly, I've been dipping in and out of a couple books and the evidence would suggest so and that just makes me feel sad. I can't change the fact that I have known where she was for 8 years and didn't contact her, that is something that makes me angry and hate myself, I couldn't face up to it. I feel like there is two of me. I spent 30 years not dealing with being adopted, I stuck my head in the sand and I can't do that anymore but sometimes it all feels very surreal, does anyone else feel like that?
I don't know that there really IS etiquette for reunion. Beyond the idea of being kind to each other, of course...And yes, it does feel surreal - adoption, reunion, the whole thing does. I'm over a year into reunion and it remains surreal!For what it's worth, I did buy a small gift for the family members I went to meet last year. I went with a fairly inexpensive, but nice, silver bracelet for my sisters and my aunt, and a necklace for my grandmother. I actually bought 4 matching bracelets - one for each of my 3 sisters and one for me, so we'd all have the same one. My aunt's was similar, but a bit different. The necklace for my grandmother had the same "feel" to it, similar shape, etc, but was unique. Each one had a symbolism to me - the necklace, for example, had 4 circular rings suspended from it - one for each of her granddaughters, including me. (My birth mother passed away before I found her family last spring, I didn't just leave her out of the gift-giving for spite or anything.) It wasn't a big, fancy gift for any of them, just a token, really - perhaps a bit of a reason to keep me in mind. I ordered through a vendor on Etsy, and was very pleased.Everyone had gifts for my son, who was 4 when we went to meet the family. They bought me a few picture frames, "to frame some new family photos of us together!" And one sister gave me a wonderful gift - a box of 300+ family photos of her mother. My birth mother. And my aunt gave me an incredibly generous gift, a diamond necklace that matched the ones she bought for my sisters when they each graduated from college. I was floored by that.I guess what I'm getting at is, you do what's comfortable for you. If you feel like a gift would be appropriate, if you'd be comfortable giving one and have a little wiggle room in your budget, then a small, thoughtful gift would be lovely. If it isn't in your budget... if you'd feel awkward giving something... don't do it. You do what's right for you.I know your in-person meeting is coming up soon. I hope it's a wonderful experience, and it gets better from there. :)
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