wishing I were adopted

All my life my mother has condsidered me a curse instead of a blessing. I wasn't wanted and wished she would have either aborted me or given me up for adoption. In her day (the 60's) if a girl turned up pregnant they either had to go away to some facility, give birth, relinquish, and go back home-never to see her child again. My mother felt trapped into marrying my father and I became and still am "The problem", as my family calls me. My mother had many boyfriends and six husbands as I grew up and believe me she let I and my sister go through hell at the hands of at least one of these men. And there were drugs, abuse of all kind going on. I wish I had parents who loved me enough to be jealous if my bmother came barging in trying to get me back. I just want to be wanted, to be cherished, loved-but I never was. Instead I was blamed every time one of her relationships didn't work out. I ruined her life. BM Texas

That's all I wanted, too -- and I WAS adopted. I'm truly sorry you experienced all that, but adoption wouldn't necessarily have given you a better life. It certainly didn't for ME. /

I'm so sorry for the treatment you got from both your mother and her husbands. No one deserves that, adopted or not. Adoption can certainly seem like a fairytale to those who dislike their families. At the same time, I have to agree with AbusedAdoptee. I was adopted as well and I was never wanted and cherished. I became the families "problem child" and I know plenty of other adoptees who became the family scapegoat for every single problem. Adoption does not guarantee love and affection and a better life, simply a different life and one often trades one problem for another. :)

My advice: You'd be stunned to know the statistics of adoptions and how things really play out. A large percentage of adoptees have serious depression and other psychological issues. Substance abuse and running away from home is also common. Being placed in abusive homes is common. I was placed with abusive parents and am almost 40 and I truly believe I would have fared better had I been left in state custody.