Advertisements
I am 38 and a half weeks pregnant, I've chosen the adoptive family and we talk all the time. I know that I am making the right decsion but as my due date gets closer I can't help but imagine a life I could have with my baby boy. I am 21 year old college student with 9 months left of undergrad, and have all of about $50 to my name along with a pile of student loans. I feel like placing my baby for adoption is the best choice for both us and I love the family that I've chosen, but I'm scared. I haven't told anyone in my family about my pregnancy or adoption plans. I'm so afraid that later in life my son won't understand why I'm doing this, and it keeps me up most nights. My question is does it get easier? Does having contact with the family, and the option of contact with the child help with the guilt, or does it only add to it?
Like
Share
You're going to have to remake the adoption decision after he is born. I read your other thread, it seems like your family would be supportive of whatever you want. Tell them, if you want to parent, they will help you. My biggest regret as a mother is not telling my mom and dad because I would have liked to have parent, but I wasn't brave enough to tell them.
Advertisements
All I can tell you is that someone who has been given up by their birthmother, it hurts, and it hurts a lot... it didn't hut when I was 14, but now at almost 24, I such a loss and void in my life, its very hard to explain... But, my situation is slightly different than a closed/open adoption. I was aoptrded my fathers grandparents, my maternal side wants NOTHING to do with me.... as of late, its been hard to deal with the fact that my own mother doesn't want anything to do with m... even worse is that she refuses contact to explain why..... my guess is shame.... i have nothing against adoption as long as its done the right way... let your child know please please please how much you care and will forever love and care from afar, for the best.... i was basically left high and dry.... just let your kid know they're supported regardless and i think it will be easier to deal with, on both sides........
Adoptive mom here: If you want to parent, you should parent. You can do it if it's what you want. It won't be easy, not going to lie, at times it will be darn hard but worth it. I would never want to raise a child whose mom wanted to raise him or her. My children had parents who could not or did not want to raise them. Only you can decide what to do. Go with your heart.
I must agree with momraine, I too am an adoptive mom and if you think that you want to parent and you have even the slightest doubt I'd spend time with the child before placing. I'd tell the adoptive parents that you want time at the hospital and after. See where you head and heart is once you've had your son.
Advertisements