new to the group

Hi everyone I'm Brenda!... Not sure how active this group is but I found it a few weeks ago and thought it would help me a lot. I'm finally getting around to introducing myself tho in hopes that either someone can relate and I may be able to help them as well as myself. I recently placed my baby girl up for adoption. I made this decision a couple months after I found out and had her on November 9th this year. I started this journey thinking that I knew everything that was going to happen. I was the type to read anything and everything about adoptions. I thought I was at least 'aware' of every feeling I could have because of this. I was as prepared as I could be but when it came down to it I wasnt prepared at all. I still have a very deep open wound that will heal with time so I'm told. It just sucks real bad in the process! My boyfriend and I made the decision of adoption BC we just weren't ready emotionally financially or even physically. He has 3 children already and I have 2. We ended up picking a wonderful couple to adopt our baby girl early in the process as well and I couldn't be happier with them. I finally made it a full day without crying however I know there are going to be a lot more tears in my future. Everyday is different. Some days I'm ok and other days everything just falls apart and I turn into a complete basket case. I have a lot of support (mostly friends and my boyfriend of course) my family is going through their own grieving and its difficult. I just wanted to come here and have someone that actually understands also besides my boyfriend... I think being a female another female that can relate can always help. I hope to hear from someone soon :-)