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I'm relatively new to my search and recently found out my birth mom has passed who I never met. Her obituary mentioned 3 people; her 2 brothers and 1 daughter. This daughter is 4 years older than me so may or may not know I exist and could be my full sister. I'm curious who to approach/write a letter to first? My initial thoughts are the brothers as if the daughter did not know of me she could be surprised, etc.. Thanks for any feedback! :confused:
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I'm sorry you were too late redsox - many of us were. As to who to contact? I don't think there is a right answer. Have you searched your sisters name? I say that because she may have been searching for you. I think it'd be worth googling. I'd probably google her brothers as well. You may be able to determine based on what you find about the three of them, who is the best one to approach. Kind regards, Dickons
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Could you contact them simultaneously and tell each that you are contacting the other? My DH was adopted as was his bio sis (into different families). His bio sis made contact with cousins but not her sibs (at bmom's request). It felt "weird" and "sad" to me that people would know at family events, etc. but that sibs were left in the dark. (Now all of the sibs know...about both adoptions.). It may be shocking to your sister, but it could be a welcome shock! And I really believe people don't like being left in the dark if it can be helped. Good luck!