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I'm new to this forum and website and everyone is so helpful. Im looking for some advice. My DH & I are going through a private domestic adoption process and our state requires a home study through an agency. We recently had our 1-1's with our CW. Mine went awry. I felt like I was being drilled on things I didn't expect - asking for specific years and dates with my past employers and schooling. There were very little to no questions about my upbringing, family (divorced parents), or my views of parenting. She really focused on my past employment and my education, which was surprising based on the guidance from others who have been through this and since the application just asked for highest degree and current employer. My autobiographical information touched on it, but didnҒt go into years or dates. I had an atypical collegeӔ experience. Started at one school, took some time off to handle family matters and worked. Then started again and transferred to a different university, all while working. During the interview, she kept on asking for the years it all happened and I was off by 2 years (this was 15+ years ago). In addition, looking back at my resume (which I wish I had in hand), I was off by a year with some of my past employers. Shed jump on it something was off - ғthat didnt make sense based on the fact you said a few minutes ago you were there for about 2 years, but based on the year with xx company, it was really 3 yearsҔ (reality it was 2.5). Im just wondering if they reach out to the past employers or schools to verify what was discussed in the interview as they didnҒt ask for contact information or ask me to sign a release to give permission to only release request was for fingerprints and criminal checks. I֒m just trying to figure out if I let it be or if I should reach out to say I gave the wrong information and here is the chronology, but Im worried about the risk of being denied in the home study. My DH and I can offer a child so much as we have a strong marriage and family network, make a very good living, and live in an area with very strong school system. I just donҒt want to ruin this because I was so nervous. :confused:
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Sounds like you got a stickler! In all honesty, it's good that they are so thorough. However, it's too bad she made you feel bad about not knowing such specifics from so long ago. I'm sure it's not as big of a deal as it felt in the moment when the pressure was on. Just keep in mind that if the important things are there then you will be okay! If it will make you feel better, you could send a short email telling her that you were nervous and didn't feel like you displayed yourself at your best. Tell her if she has any additional questions she needs clarified, that you would be happy to answer them. I think you're probably just fine, but if it gives you more peace of mind...
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Thank you for the sound advice. My DH is also worried that if I do go back, it'll create more questions - and we're worried about delays. We've found a birth mother that may be a perfect fit for us due in two months. We have our last interview this week and then our home visit in a couple of weeks. We'll see what happens and keeping our fingers crossed!
I would ask the home study worker if you can email her a document or resume with all of the documented information she needs for the home study, and ask her if she would like to speak on the phone or in person again to clarify any questions she may have. She most likely will go off the document/resume you provide, and just make sure you give her all the way back to the dates she is requesting :) it should be fine!