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[FONT="Georgia"][/FONT] Hello all! I just wanted to get some feed back from anyone that has been through a step parent adoption, and hopefully give me some advice as well as some encouragement. My husband and I just signed the petition for adoption on Friday, and our attorney will be submitting it today. I'm extremely anxious as to what my ex's response, if any, will be. I'll get a short summary of all of the events following up to this, to hopefully shed some light on my situation. I got pregnant when I was in high school. After my son's birth, and graduation, I got married to his bio father. Unfortunately the marriage didn't last long, not even a year, due to drug use and indiscretions on his part during our relationship. Being that I was so young, I didn't have the finances to fund a divorce. Finally in 2011 I was able to get it granted. He had moved to a different state and wouldn't respond so our divorce was finalized through publication. He was ordered child support, and ever since then he has made six payments in over four years. That part didn't surprise me as he never holds down a job for long, and does not have a high school diploma. What has made me so geared to begin this adoption process is the lack of visitation he has had and recommendations from his therapist. He is granted quite a few opportunities a year to exercise visitation, and has failed to do so with every year that has passed. My son, who is now seven, knows who his father is, and he is final beginning to catch on that he never sends gifts and never visits. I enrolled him in counseling last year due to all of this, and I just had a follow up with his therapist who stated my son has become "extremely emotionally reactive" when it comes to the discussion of his father, and she stated that all of his turmoil stems from him as well. We began working on regulating his feels, but she said this is difficult because of the inconsistency from his father. Also the most interesting part was that my son has been adamant from day one with her in regards to having my husband adopt him. I believe he learned this concept from my role as a foster parent. He has learned a lot through the children that we have helped. I don't believe my ex will sign willingly and that is the part that scares me. Though my attorney has never lost a contested adoption case, and told me that she wont take one on unless she knows she will win. I know she can't guarantee our win in all of this, so I was hoping to get some words of wisdom from others that have been through it!!
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You can still file for the step parent adoption even if your ex will not consent to it. If he hasn't really been around or given any support then you can prove him unfit or that he abandoned your child. You shouldn't need a lawyer for the adoption unless he is adamant on not signing and then you may need the assistance of one. I found a good FAQ online that can help answer a lot of your step parent adoption questions. http://www.rapidadoption.com/free_adoption_booklet...
