Mixed Emotions

Well hello there sorry been a while I am still not used to this new form of forum, but here goes... Lots been going on with Lil miss and lil man mom got TPRed but she is appealing it. They wanted to transition the children over to the other home with older siblings that is not going so well lil miss flat out told older half siblings I don't want to live with you guys. She been refusing therapist conversation about it to the point she walks away and says no. On the other hand last week was court and no one but CW and my hubby showed up :( .....weekend visits with siblings they go alright but I don't see any connection with lil miss and lil man with other foster parents it's not there so CW is rethinking this entire moving thing.... Now here is my dilemma Ballerina's parents are not working anything and CW wishes to speak to us about that to see if we can be resource parents for Ballerina. My husband flat out said NO. I am back and forth feeling horrible because she has been with us almost a year and she has come a long way. I am at a loss what to do I asked him to think about it and he said NO there I thought about it answer still NO. However he said a YEAH to lil miss and lil man so I am confused.

Nobody here will be able to answer why your husband says yes to one and not the other. You have to ask HIM that.

I'm not sure what's up with the snide comment about asking her husband. She's giving us an update not asking us to read her husband's mind.OP I have been following your story on here (though never able to post much). It seems like time has gone by so quickly! However this turns out I hope everything will turn out for the best for you.

You are right I was not asking for that I was updating and maybe hear from someone who has BTDT could share some light. And thank you me and hubby spoke and we are thinking over things if it comes to Ballerina needing us to adopt her. He loves her it's just sometimes patience is not a virtue when it comes to her.

Listen to your husband. If he does not have patience for her, it will show in the way he treats her as opposed to the other two. Sometimes people (even children) just do not get along and there's nothing wrong with that. Guilt is a terrible basis for any relationship. Besides, how old is Ballerina? It seems like a child that young doesn't "need" you to adopt her. Once she is legally free, there will be any number of families who will love her and have patience for her.

Yeah that I know well after CW came and spoke to us he is more at ease because the previous CW was not communicating with us this one thankfully is. She spoke to us and told us we still got 4 months before the TPR is issued anything can happen by then but as far as it goes if it keeps going the way it has it is more than likely they will TPR them. She also stated that Ballerina has thrived with us and she would like for us to consider if they TPR to be there for her and her older brother who is 6 I think but placed in another home. She wants us to see if we can have him switched over to us ASAP I told her by July we should be good to transition him in to our home. My DH was mostly concern with the fact that DCS had not done anything to get services for Ballerina until this new CW took over we are finally going to make some progress and get her the help she needs. I think giving him 4 months and having CW work with us would make him feel more at ease he adores her she is a sweetie pie and craves attention but we feel she was more than just neglected and per what CW told us that is the case.

I am sorry that I came of snarky. That was not my intention. The title is "mixed emotions" and she said she was confused. Also, she said she is at a loss as to what to do. I suggested asking her husband and talking about it. Maybe I misunderstood. So, here is my "support and advice." Mixed feelings about a placement are normal. I would not suggest going forward with a "yes" to adoption unless you are both TOTALLY on board. It would not be fair to you or ballerina. I would guess that some of the mixed feelings are being more confused by your possibly loosing lil man and lil miss. That throws an entire new roller coaster on top of the other. So, my advice is still to talk to your husband and explore his reasons and emotions behind saying no. I would NOT force anything on him, though. Ballerina needs to be wanted and loved by 2 parents:)

That I agree with and your fine it was sort of confusing my post as usual it is after all coming from a bilingual perspective anyways all this roller coaster ride is giving me headaches because right now we are at a stand still with lil miss and lil man transitioning due to mother appealing the TPR I am not sure how all this will play out either, the CW for the first time in forever is listening to the therapist of lil miss because lil miss is refusing to move she told therapist and her sisters that if she can't go back to bio mom then she wants to stay where she is at. I don't know how much they listen to a 5 yr old going on 15 lol...but the CW said she sees the trauma this entire situation is putting on both lil man and lil miss. As for Ballerina she is sort of limbo right now as bio parents are refusing everything from drug testing to services, first they told the judge they had no referrals now they have had referrals for 2 months and they refuse to abide by them, not to mention that apparently they are rethinking visits even if supervised because bio parents can't stay awake or sober during visits like they show up strong out =:o