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I haven't posted in awhile, we are moving along with our adoption of Gramps and are hoping to take a big family vacation early next year when it is hopefully all finished! He just turned 2 years old, has been with us since 3 months, and we also have two bios who are 5 years old and 10 months old.
I'm really struggling with planning a vacation. Gramps, although with us since such a young age, had situations early on that caused him to have severe anxiety. He also shows a lot of the same traits as his bio mom...violent outburts, meltdowns, extreme focus on one thing that leads to outbursts if not taken care of, and sleep issues. If he gets off sleep, he is a MONSTER and it can take him days if not weeks to get back on track. We suspect nocturnal seizures as well which cause his sleep issues. He needs his own sleeping space and to really stay on track with sleep. We have had many "fun" family events ruined because of meltdowns, sleep issues, etc. We have gotten much better over time to adjust so that they don't occur, and thankfully now most of the time he is a "regular" high needs toddler unlike when he was 9-15 months old and it was unbearable. I am also getting much better of having lower expectations and not being resentful of things not going well because he "chooses" not to sleep like he should or freaks out. He still has huge anxiety issues with things that are unpredictable or things he can't control, even little things like being cuddled tightly.
Anyway, all that to say, I'm really struggling with the vacation stuff...we would love to do Disney. I've taken what I feel like would be all necessary precautions to help it be a peaceful trip...we are paying double to stay on site in a room large enough he gets his own sleep space, we are staying extra long so we can break up park time and fully expect to have days we have to split up or not go to the parks at all, we are going to stick with his regular routine, fly down to avoid car issues, etc. He loves Mickey, isn't bothered by crowds, loves being around people, and like I said, when he is "on", he is a lovable, fiesty toddler. But there is a very real possibility he will refuse to go on a single ride, get off sleep routine and be a nightmare all week, etc. and I wonder if it's not even worth it. I wonder if we should just do something simple close to home, even though we all look forward to this trip.
But then I remind myself this is very well how he will be his whole life, and it is fair to the rest of the family to have to skip because of behavior issues? Or is that level of adapting necessary? Anyone have experience with this?
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I think you have taken the needs of your child into consideration very nicely with the planning of your trip. He is still just a baby and with continued love, support and careful planning on your part, he will most likely grow out of this behavior somewhat, if not entirely. Disneyland is an overwhelming place (I love it there and am a season passholder), your kiddos are still young. If you are stressed about the trip then just wait a year or two - Disney will still be there waiting... :)
My 3 year old FS is very behavioral. A vacation for us that works is a beach house for a week, with minimal structure (other than enjoy the sand and surf). Last year we took him to the boardwalk one night and that was a disaster- it was way too overstimulating for him. My parents are talking about a Disney vacation when we he becomes forever (out journey has been wild and crazy, even for fosterland), but I dread taking him to Disney.
It sounds like you have made as many accomodations (sp?) as possible.
If you google, "Disney World Guests with Disabilities," you should be able to find the Disability access service guide. When my husband accompanied his sister and her children to Disney World, they were able to get passes for a parent-swap type program. That way if my nephew was melting down and couldn't handle rides, one parent could stay off the ride with him, and then ride separately immediately afterward to avoid a second wait in line.
I think "child swap" is available on rides without any special accommodation. You just have to tell the ride attendant you want to child swap and they will help you. Disney is overwhelming, but it is just so much fun. If you schedule nap/quiet times in the afternoon, lots of unstructured pool time, and don't try to do/see everything, I think it will be wonderful.
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Please don't take this wrong but I left my 2 year old with Auntie the last time we went to Disney and he does not have any behavioral issues. I personally feel Disney is wasted on any child under 3. I knew having him with us would keep us from going on a lot of rides and caring for him would dictate our whole trip and that would not be fair to my other kids. Also, he wouldn't remember it or understand it. That's just how I see it. We had a great time and will go again when he is 3 or 4 and he will be able to appreciate it.
Kat