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Has anyone ever asked you “How Does It Feel To Be Adopted?”#FLIPTHESCRIPTThis is a question that is far overdue for most adoptees…This platform was created for ALL adoptees to share how it’s felt growing up adopted, and living as an adult adoptee in today’s world. This platform is for the WORLD to see how we feel. Some stories will be happier than others, some will be sad but each story is unique in it’s own way. We deserve to be heard. Our feelings matter. We matter. Submissions to this page will not be censored. The feelings here are real and raw. Some of the adoptees have chosen to remain anonymous, and some of them are public. Regardless of their comfort level in sharing how they feel, every adoptee is welcome to share how it feels to be adopted here.This site was created as a sister site of page. We feel it’s time to have a place for each adoptee to have a chance to share their feelings, without interruption, without the page disappearing off the Facebook wall feed. It’s been in thought for along time and we felt it was time to put this dream into action.ADOPTEES: Please know there is no right or wrong answer on how you feel. You are ALL welcome here. We ask you please keep your sharing in your writing focused on your own thoughts and feelings based on your own journey on how it feels to be adopted. We’ve been told how to feel for far too long.Please email submissions to: howdoesitfeeltobeadopted@gmail.comPlease have your submission typed in a word format, double spaced and 12 Font. Please have it already corrected for typos, and let us know what name you would like to use, (We need a name, even if you create a “Pen Name” as this is the way the entries will be listed) as well as attach a picture if you would like us to include one in your submission. Please include a brief bio of yourself.Please share how you felt growing up adopted, how you feel being an adult adoptee and when you found out you were adopted in as much detail as you would like. Please feel free to share your negative and positive views of your adoption experience. Please share how you felt finding your biological family, or how you have felt not knowing who they were or are. Please share how it FEELS not knowing the answers to your history. Please share how it’s felt to find a grave at the end of your search. Share how it feels to not have your OBC, to know who your siblings are, to not know your medical history.PLEASE EMAIL WITH ANY QUESTIONS Today is your day, we are silent no more. This is your chance to share how it feels to be adopted.
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Last update on June 1, 6:50 am by Pam Jones.
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Hi- I'm writing this on the day I finally mailed off my Consent to Contact forms, notarized and completed, to the Children's Home Society offices. I have had cold feet about finding whatever info I could for my whole adult life. It was very painful to be adopted in a broad sense for me, at least while I was growing up, because I was so radically different from my adoptive parents and sibling. I didn't realize how deep and intense the wound is until I mailed these forms off today. IT IS A HUGE DEAL better to have finally tried to do something to resolve this question mark. I wonder whether everyone who is an adoptee can agree wholly on one notable feeling of 'adoptedness'. Surely each individual's experience is going to be unique. I am grateful that I was given life. I most likely will always be needing to heal from whatever happened in my earliest hours/days/months. The story I have, which may or may not be an accurate account, is that mine was a 2-3 months premature home birth. Presumably then I was tended to in an incubator for many weeks. This being 1971, it's a miracle I survived (I've been told). Being the father of a preemie myself, I understand and have witnessed the frailty of life after being brought into the world so dangerously early.Being adopted was hard also because of the ways I disappointed these loving parents who "chose" me. This was a big issue for me during my years of alcohol and drug addiction. I likened it to being gambled on akin to buying a fairly new used car, which cosmetically was fine but turned out to be a lemon. This point of view has changed, thankfully! But I felt I should share it in response to the thread's title.It feels threatening and oppressive when people, trying and failing to understand, say things that are meant to remind the adoptee that they have a wonderful family, that they ARE your family. A non-adopted person doesn't realize that something very deep and fundamental happened when a tiny infant was denied the first pheromonal comforts and nurturing of biologically familiar contact. There are the worries about whether the adoptive parents are going to be hurt if/when one does take the steps to find their birthmother. There are the worries about whether the birthmother is alive, dead, will be receptive, wants nothing to do me, et cetera. Is she a drug addict? Is she famous? It might sound like the ramblings of an adolescent here, but I am a 44 year old man. My thoughts on the subject haven't progressed much further than when I used to ruminate on it at 8, 10, 16 years old.Hey, other Adoptees. I'm on one side of this, where it's still dark because of the Mystery. I will post again if (or please God, WHEN) I find what I hope to find. If I don't get what I want, as sometimes we just simply don't, I know that my life is of great value, and suffering is unacceptable. Hard concepts and vagaries can be dealt with. For what it's worth:(as far as I know)I was born in Long Beach, California. My birthday is 6/4/71. Supposedly I was born at home. My biological mother is supposed to have had blond hair and gray eyes. She may have been around 19-21 years old. She was quoted to have been "Socially Confused" (LOL! me too). I hope not to have over posted.Thanks,Nick
Last update on August 22, 4:32 pm by Noxoteus.
I included the link to my website all about adoption where I'm trying to educate people on adoption from the point of view of an adoptee, explaining both the positives and the negatives that I (and other adoptees) have experienced.On the website, I explain my feelings related to my adoption, which is why I included the link. But basically, I've always had mixed feelings regarding my adoption; however, I'm now at a point in my life where I'm able to view my adoption as a blessing. I'm very happy that my bio-parents made the decision that they made because I've realized that it was truly the best option for my future.
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I was extremely fortunate, I could not have had more loving supportive adoptive parents. I was really hurt when I first learned I was adopted around age 10, very much a loner then found out even my own parents didn't want me. Later I felt very guilty, thought I owed them an apology. I grew up and realized my mother did the best she could for me at the time. After meeting her, that was confirmed, a young single woman with no means of support or a family that would rally around her. She eventually was estranged from them and married a man who became a raging alcoholic... If I had been raised in that environment I shudder to think what I might have become.My adoptive father was a teacher, education was important to them. I graduated from university, a year later dad was dead from cancer. After meeting my b-mother I am glad I had a chance to tell mom how grateful I am for the opportunities that were afforded me, I didn't take advantage of all of them but they were there.
I am adopted and I am not allowed to have birthfamily or a housing or a birthcerificate and I don't get along with the non adoptees they are alwasys mean to me and judge me for no reason there so judgmental and mean its hard not having birthfamily and the non adoptees never understand how hard it is to not have birthfamily I would have done better in life if I could have had birthfamily