An update on M

Wow, its been so long since I've posted, the forum does not even have the same format I remember. I don't even know if I am in the right place to speak to all of you that have helped me on this journey. I have procrastinated posting an update for a long time...because I don't want to jinx anything. M is doing great. She cries now. I know this shouldn't be a good thing, but for a girl who thinks showing any sign of weakness is practically a sin, it is amazing to know she trusts us enough to let us see her sadness. She still doesn't talk much in therapy, but sessions are less about her relationship with DH now and more about impulse control, social skills, and beginning to deal with the trauma she wants to pretend is just a thing in her past, separate from her life now. She is becoming a polite, pleasant young lady, if a bit rough around the edges. She no longer drags acronyms behind her like ODD and ADHD. Though they have been replaced by GAD, PTSD and SCD, these new DX are real. These speak to the way her mind works, not just her behaviors. I decided to post today because of something that happened this week which made me realize how far we've come in the two years since we met our now daughter. Something I hope will be an inspiration to anyone struggling with the kind of trials we went thru with M. Last week, M spent a few days with my dad. She spent a few days with him last summer too, getting to eat as much candy as she wanted, shopping for toys she didn't need, driving his boat and golf cart, and staying up as late as she wanted. Four days with no chores and no rules except the ones that were necessary to keep her safe. In short, getting spoiled rotten. She was excited about the prospect this time too. But since she's been home this week, she's been sullen and moody, a little snarky and a lot less polite than before her visit. We figured it was the break in routine. We figured she was a little sad vacation was over. We figured she was resentful of having to get back to eating a fruit and veggie before desert and being tasked with doing the dishes every night. We figured she was just out of the habit of saying her 'Sirs' and 'Ma'ams' (We are a Southern family..DH and I say them too, sometimes even to her.) Until our therapy session yesterday. That's when we learned just how much our daughter...and her relationship with us...has changed since last year.Sometime over the course of her visit with Granddaddy, in an attempt to show her how special she was to him, my father told M that she could stay with him as long as she wanted. He didn't know that is what her FFF told her just before they disrupted on her. He didn't know that would plant a seed of doubt in her mind that would lead her to become sick (literally) with worry that DH and I had discussed the possibility of sending her to live with him forever. That she would think, even when we picked her up to take her home, that this was just the first of so many transition visits before we moved her again. And WE didn't know that she would choose us over the possibility of getting lavished with attention and presents and never having to do a chore or say 'Sir' or 'Ma'am' ever again.