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So me and peapot are plugging away. She's such an awesome child for many reasons. I feel kinda bad that she's been with me two weeks now and already has a sniffle that she was kind enough to give to me so we can share it..... yay! Oh daycare.
I do hope she's feeling better tomorrow and can go in since it'll be a short day anyway and a friend is coming over to teach me how to cornrow. I may just pay someone in future, honestly, I'm so bad at braiding, my French braids never look right. I've embraced my hair type and let the waves go au natural so it would have to be a really special occasion to spend more than 30 seconds on it so trying to do peapot's is unusal.
So the SW approved contact with a few members of peapot's family and with her mother. I don't know if it's odd that I've heard nothing about her dad, although one of dad's relatives wants placement and is on the contact list. So far they have been very appropriate. We have a 1 afternoon a week gab to update everyone on how she's doing. It honestly doesn't take long and peapot lights up whenever she talks on the phone. We've also spoken more often to mom and so far it hasn't caused any behaviors other than crying for a minute when she says goodbye.
Anyway, so peapot's casa and the case supervisor came by and in the course of the conversation, mentioned neither had a case previously where the FP kept contact with the little one's family.. IDK, I haven't minded it since everyone just asks how she's doing and wants to say hi. No one has said or done anything inappropriate or blown up my phone with calls or texts and each of the family members for which the SW has approved contact have asked about doing an ICPC to get her so I sort of feel like I need to keep the communication going if the case goes in that direction. What about ya'll? Does anyone else keep pretty regular phone contact with your foster child's family? This is still such a new case that I wonder if things typically get worse as time goes on.
I'm going to continue keeping it up barring any case changes since it hasn't caused any issues, but it made me curious to know how other people go about contact with bios.
ETA, And seriously dog, why do you need to bark at the squirrels on the tree, I know we haven't had as many walks since peapot joined our family, but barking after I say quiet is not acceptable, sigh. I'm hoping a new baby carrier will allow me to walk the dogs and carry peapot when she gets tired. But it has to wait until she is feeling better.
Last update on July 26, 8:02 pm by Lunalily.
I don't do phone calls with our foster kids family, but I prefer to transport to visits myself, and I always make it a point to introduce myself in the beginning and to give a little update about what's going on, and ask if mom (it's only been moms so far) has any questions or concerns.
If you are comfortable, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Just remember it's a lot easier to agree to more involvement later than it is to back out once you don't like how things are going.
With our last FD I did give mom my cell number once baby started doing overnight visits with mom so that she could call me if she had any problems (it was her first baby and she had little to no parenting experience).
Last update on July 26, 8:32 pm by jbdfw.
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I had a little one whose sister was with bio aunt. We kept in contact, let the girls talk on the phone, invited each other to the girls' birthday parties, and when I went to the sister's, the whole bio family was there (minus bio parents). The bio family respected that bio mom not come if I did, and they had issues with her as well, so that worked.
They were a little "rough around the edges", but always meant well and gave me a boatload of info DCYF couldn't or wouldn't give me. All I got from them was positive feedback on Peanut's health and behavior progress and very serous, very heartfelt appreciation that I took her when they "couldn't" (they felt overwhelmed by her behaviors).
The aunt has even called once or twice since Peanut moved to her adoptive family to update me on Peanut's sister, which I appreciate, as I do care about her as well.
BUT, that was just my experience.... Hopefully it continues to work for you.
Just a note from the other side. ;)
My niece was in foster care and I had a lot of contact with her foster parents (she had 4 placements in 2.5 years). In the first home, Niece was not allowed a cell phone, so I called her Foster Mother in order to talk to Niece, and of course, she called me on Foster Mother's home phone. I also had contact info for Foster Mother's daughter since Niece spent a lot of time there (kids her own age). In her second home, they allowed her to have a cell phone, so I bought her one and contacted her on it directly. I had little contact with that foster family, but I did have all their contact info. The third home was interesting. It was a "teen" home with a lot of restrictions on Niece at first, so again contact was mostly through Foster Mother. She had contacts with all the social workers and GALs. She was able to help me through the system somewhat. We had a lot of contact. I am still facebook friends with her. The last home, I also got very friendly with the Foster Mother, and we would chat about Niece's case quite a bit even though Niece had a cell phone and I could contact her directly.