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So this idea has been ruminating around my head since I decided to become a foster parent. See, my brother is also a single foster parent and in a way, it almost seems to be crazy for both of us to be single foster parents separately when we could just move in together and co-parent our foster children. We are both in our early 30s and neither of us are in a long term romantic relationship and we were roommates up until a few years ago when I moved to another part of town where he couldn't move due to work. Well now he is moving closer to me and will be bringing his current foster, but soon to be adopted, son. It's just, the more I think of it, the more I think, "why not just move in together?" If we combined our incomes we could rent a MUCH nicer place than either of us can afford separately and he also mentioned he wants to continue to foster after the adoption of his son is complete.
His foster son also loves being a big brother. I noticed this whenever I've watched him and other kids at the same time. Of course, he d have his own room so he can have a retreat if needed, but he has already asked for a little brother or sister.
Hmmm, I know we would need to have a plan for what we'll do it one of us gets serious about someone or even just wants to live separately again. And also a parenting plan so we are on the same page for discipline, rules, etc. I'm wondering about fostering specific issues. Like, we are with different agencies now. I suppose it would be best to both be under the same agency? And would this sort of situation (co-parenting with a non-romantic partner) make it more difficult to foster? I suppose for us, we would still take placements separately and simply bring them into the same house to be together since we;d be roommates again.
I just keep thinking of the benefits. If you need someone to watch the kids for a second while you run to the store. If you would like someone to talk to about issues. If someone needs to take a screaming child outside to calm down. Giving his placements a mother-figure and mine a father-figure in the home would also be nice.
Also being able to afford a nicer and bigger house we could invite people over to visit would be nice. My house is so small that if my bunco group wanted to come over, it would have to be outside. No way to fit a dozen women in my little cottage.
IDK, this idea how been kicking around my cranium for months and now that we are getting closer to when our respective leases are over, I'm considering bringing it up to him to see if he agrees. I'm just curious if anyone knows of any other foster parents who room with another foster parent.
Hey, I haven't thought about this thread in forever. After a lot of praying and consideration. I decided to go for it. I loved living with my brother before we were both single parents and we have a lot of the same thoughts on discipline and enjoying doing stuff together. My brother has gradually getten used to doing things with a LO. We went to a big event last weekend with crazy amounts of people. I was great having more than just my eyes keeping an eye on the LO because otherwise she would have had to spend the whole time in the stroller.Unfortunately, there is a state rule that says that you cannot have more than one licensed foster family in the same household(yes I looked it up after the agency told me about it).
So me and my current placement are moving into a new place anyway, but my LO should be leaving within the next month (I am SO going to miss her). And so after she moves out, I wont take any more placements so my brother and his LO can move in. After the adoption is complete, I'll get re-licensed if need be. I'm hoping I can just not take placements until the new homestudy can be completed rather than going through the licensing process again less than a year after the first time. After all, I've heard there's less of a need for foster parents around the holidays in our area because the court to to get kids home at that time. We'll see.
ETA: January 2016.
My LO has gone home and so my brother and his son now live with me. It's been a lot of fun for the past couple of weeks. It's not a huge transition since he came over the hang out during the winter and thanksgiving breaks. My nephew is just happy to be in his permanent room. It was hard for him to keep being told it should be soon. For the last 6 weeks or so of placement with Peapot, I was being told that any day now they would book the flight to take her to live with her family. Any day did come eventually, it worked out nicely since she left right as school was re-starting and that helped the transition. So far no blow ups or issues. We'll see how living with a teenager goes, lol.
Last update on January 20, 4:54 pm by Lunalily.
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