My name is Rosy, I come from Russia and i'm an adoptee i was 6 months when i was adopted with with my sister-twins, two months ago I found my mother, she is Uzbekistan, my father died and he was of Russian nationality.
I found my family through an agency, my mother I found her through a social network, I posted an ad writing her name .... then his neighbor read my ad and said he knows my mother, so he called her ....
She immediately wanted to talk to me and hear my voice, but I did not call because I had no money, then I gave the number to the agency because the agency sent her my photos and a letter I had written to her.
After a few days she asked to a friend to add me on a Russian social network, because she does not have a computer in her home, so her friend wrote me that my mother wanted to talk to me via skype. he wrote for her: <<hi, im Sveta your mom....>>.
At 8 calls via Skype I never responded, I only called once but the call lasted five seconds after that I knocked off the call.
after I wrote via whatsapp this friend told her that i wanted to speak again with her , but I never responded ....
her friend removed fromme the list of friends, my mother did not contact me anymore, I began to have obsessions, I think every single minute of her, I think of his voice when he said: << allo, allo, Galina! >> (Galina was my name).
i think of what she feel to me, how she feels, she might have fears, I feel that she doesn't think of me anymore ....
What fears do you have you mothers? do you have fears? how did you feel when your daughter has called you? last week her friend visited my profile on the social network ,i do not know if maybe it was my mother ask to see my profile ...
i want to see her via Skype, but something stopped me .... Why do I have to contact her when she did not want to talk to me? when she don't contact me?
Have you experienced the same emotions? are u afraid if your child does not contact you?
do u worry as all mothers do?
i'm obsessed with her, I always look at her picture, I wonder what she thinks of my behavior, i am stressed by it all, because I feel rejected ...
reunion is not easy.... i want to talk with a birth mom..
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Congratulations for finding her
No advice. I'm bumping this up, in the hope that some BPs see this
Rozi-
Call your mother. What is the worst that can happen? She wants to hear from you, which is why she tried calling you. I know it is terrifying, but just take a deep breath and just do it. I think a lot of your unanswered questions can be answered by your mother. You know I am here for you:)
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Hi Rozi,
It has been 30 years since my daughter was born. While in the hospital, I held her, changed her diapers, sang songs to her and cared for her until the day I was discharged. Those three days were cherished as I did not know if those would be my only moments with her for all of time. I did not choose parents for her because I did not want her. Circumstances created an unwelcoming environment for a baby and I had no home to bring her to. To say I was heartbroken is an understatement.It took many many years before I felt at peace with my decision and many many years before I would stop crying at just the thought of her. Life got busy - I married and had more children. But my heart held close the hope that she would want to meet me someday and I would tell her how much I loved her.
Fast forward to today - She , with the help of her sister in law, found my husband on Facebook. Long story short, when she called me--we ended up talking for 3 hours. We have so much in common and I am so happy that this new journey has begun. I chose an open adoption and have kept track of her and been in contact with her mom every few years or so. It was important to me that IF we ever talked that it was her decision and her timing when she was ready.
Did I have fears? Yes. Do I have fears? Yes. I knew for two days that she was going to call on a particular day. I was very nervous because I honestly had no idea what her reason was for contacting me. My mind ran through every scenario. This was un charted territory for me and frankly, I wan't sure how I was going to come across . It brought back resentful feelings because I did not have the support necessary to provide a home for her. Some of the sadness and loss came back too.
I never initiated contact after she was a legal adult because I felt it would be an intrusion. Even today, I will not be calling her because I want to be sensitive to where she is with all of this.
My advice is contact her. Don't read into the confusing aspect of your particular situation. You have no way of knowing what is going on at her end of the situation.Social network can cause speculation - don't go by what happens on a social network.
It has been a year since the original posting of this thread but decided to respond for those who are seeking similar answers.
To end let me say this: As a birth mother let me go on record by saying that we may not think of you every day but certainly can never forget you.
Last update on July 11, 2:25 am by Realityof8.