REUNION

Hi Rozi,It has been 30 years since my daughter was born. While in the hospital, I held her, changed her diapers, sang songs to her and cared for her until the day I was discharged. Those three days were cherished as I did not know if those would be my only moments with her for all of time. I did not choose parents for her because I did not want her. Circumstances created an unwelcoming environment for a baby and I had no home to bring her to. To say I was heartbroken is an understatement.It took many many years before I felt at peace with my decision and many many years before I would stop crying at just the thought of her. Life got busy - I married and had more children. But my heart held close the hope that she would want to meet me someday and I would tell her how much I loved her. Fast forward to today - She , with the help of her sister in law, found my husband on Facebook. Long story short, when she called me--we ended up talking for 3 hours. We have so much in common and I am so happy that this new journey has begun. I chose an open adoption and have kept track of her and been in contact with her mom every few years or so. It was important to me that IF we ever talked that it was her decision and her timing when she was ready. Did I have fears? Yes. Do I have fears? Yes. I knew for two days that she was going to call on a particular day. I was very nervous because I honestly had no idea what her reason was for contacting me. My mind ran through every scenario. This was un charted territory for me and frankly, I wan't sure how I was going to come across . It brought back resentful feelings because I did not have the support necessary to provide a home for her. Some of the sadness and loss came back too. I never initiated contact after she was a legal adult because I felt it would be an intrusion. Even today, I will not be calling her because I want to be sensitive to where she is with all of this. My advice is contact her. Don't read into the confusing aspect of your particular situation. You have no way of knowing what is going on at her end of the situation.Social network can cause speculation - don't go by what happens on a social network. It has been a year since the original posting of this thread but decided to respond for those who are seeking similar answers.To end let me say this: As a birth mother let me go on record by saying that we may not think of you every day but certainly can never forget you.