Advertisements
Last Thursday afternoon at about 1pm I got the call that said we finally had ALL the paperwork we needed complete and confirmed received to go get Darling and bring her home. She had a doctor appt the next morning that I didn't want to miss. Her foster parents wanted us to take her from them after the doctor appt which felt to me very sudden - like ripping off a bandaid but they said that they did their goodbyes the night before and that morning. The foster mom asked me to please keep in touch. (I have - I have sent emails and texts with pictures and updates of how Darling is doing.) There were tears and hugs and we drove home with all three car seats in back filled up. Earlier in the week I became FB friends with the foster family and I downloaded all the pictures she had posted of Darling and I made them a Shutterfly memory book of Darling's time with them and the very last page had a few pictures of her time with us. I hope the memory book helps a little with the grieving...I know they said they didn't want to adopt but it's still hard to say goodbye...and I wanted a way to thank them and I doubt they'll have time to make one themselves as they are planning on accepting another placement in the near future. So now, I am officially a foster parent with a license and a child and everything! It's so surreal still I hardly believe she's here. It's going well so far though. She sleeps well, eats well, and though she is teething and doesn't seem to enjoy getting in her car seat much she's pretty happy-go-lucky. I keep waiting for her to really scream her head off in a baby version of "You're not my mom!" but it hasn't happened yet. Honeymoon stage, I suppose. My bio kids are happy to have her here but are also expressing some doubt. Stuntman is refusing to share toys with her that he's been sharing with every other kid who's come over for months and Sweets told me I'm spending "all my time" with the baby. Not true but I told her that with a new baby it can certainly feel that way and we'll plan a just big girls night very soon. I have already gotten weird questions and awkward statements. My favorite was when we went to the park near our house and Sweets' friends swarmed around and an 8 yr old girl said, "Where did you get her?" Like I bought her at a store. It was innocently asked however and I did my best to explain without breaching confidentiality while another girl (4) insisted she came from my tummy! We took her to church and lots of people cooed over her and the phrase "It's so exciting!" and "Aren't you excited?" or variations were put forth to me. I agreed in each case, but I have to say while I am very happy, content, peaceful, joyful...I don't know that I'm "excited" yet. Maybe because there's still time for this to not become forever or maybe I am too tired from having fought to get her here...but I know I smile every time I look at her and if anyone has watched the Barbie movie The Secret Door I keep thinking of the song "You're Here". She may not be a magical princess but since she's here I'm not worried about anything. Home visits? Lookin' forward to 'em. __________________________________________________________________________________ Sweets (F) 4 yr old bio Stuntman (M) 2 yr old bio Darling (F) 10 mo (placed 8/21/15)
Like
2 Liked
ceg2 and wcurry66 like this.
Share
Wow, things are happening quick. :) As for home visits, if you are not sure when they are, either ask the CW or FFM.Glad to hear things are working out okay. Give the toy thing some time. With the ages, I doubt either will ever remember the not sharing. Of course, don't say it is okay, but don't stress.Enjoy.
Advertisements
Congrats on having Darling with you at last. We brought our (hopefully very soon to be adopted) daughter home at 10 months old. She did absolutely fine from the get go with no tears at all. I had visited her in her foster home for a total of 5 hours over 4 days, then I brought her on the plane (the cw came too, but didn't interact with the baby since baby was not a fan of cw). She was all smiles and happy the whole time. We thought it was a honeymoon period too, but to be honest it's like she never really looked back. There were few if any signs of mourning, grieving, etc other than that she did not want me to leave the room without her for the first 6 months or so except when she was going to bed at night. She's been here over a year now and either she's just that content or this is a very long honeymoon. She was with the same foster mom whom she appeared to be very attached to (although it was a group home so there were many other caregivers in and out on occasion and lots of turn over with the kids in the home) and does not show any signs of attachment issues either, so I hope we just got a really easy baby. She loves to be cuddled, held, played with, worn in the baby carrier etc by me. She will go to other people with little fuss but always wants to come back to me shortly. All that to say that your Darling may not mourn in a way that looks like mourning :D Congrats again on your little one!
Advertisements
Yes, Smarty Smarty, she did come with a lot of the things the foster family had for her. She has a few stuffed animals they got for her and a lovey that we got for her that the foster family got her used to cuddling up with. She likes to hold it as she falls asleep. Also, Sweets spotted a toy at a yard sale at the beginning of summer that was the same one as one she played with at the foster home and Sweets brought to me and said, "We HAVE to get this! She'll see it and think it's the one from home!" Foster mom packed up lots of clothes too...so I almost wonder if she thinks this is a respite situation. Her CASA believes that because her foster family was so big with lots of older brothers and sisters that regularly provided snuggles and bottles and some babysitting that she is just very comfortable and trusting of people. She does look for me when I leave though she doesn't generally cry. We did take her to church and I was sitting in the nursery with her. When I had to go to the bathroom though I left for a few min and the nursery workers said she cried just a little until one of them picked her up. So thanks for all the congrats...it's going great!
Still no involvement from my step-sister or the alleged father. The caseworker and CASA warned me that they may, upon hearing she's been moved to our home, try to then make efforts to reunify. I don't think that will happen but I could be surprised so I'm trying to expect it and not be surprised - just in case.
Advertisements