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We've had our fost/adopt sibling group of 3 (ages 5,3, almost 2) home for 6 weeks now. All is going wonderful. Our biggest problem right now is our almost 2 year old little girl cries every night at bedtime STILL. No improvement. Foster mom told us she slept in a crib in her room and that she just laid her down and left. As hard as it has been, we have consistently done that. Last week I got desperate and tried rocking, nope. Still cried when I laid her down. She cries for about 20 minutes at naps and bedtime. Am I going about this wrong? I feel bad since she has been left home alone with toddler siblings as an infant and then lost mom and foster mom and Im sure this has a lot to do with it. Walking away just seems so cruel and apparently it isnt getting better. Wish I could put her in bed with me. Unhappy
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Our FD(2) came to us at 18 months and screamed bloody murder during any sleep time. Naps, bed time, if she dozed off in the car. What I discovered was that she and big brother and mom all shared the same bed so sleeping along and waking in the night alone was traumatic for her. She also had frightening night terrors for the first five months here. I spent a lot of nights going in and out putting her to bed and getting her resettled. She hated bedtime and frankly so did I because I knew it was coming with non stop screaming and crying. We started giving her melatonin just to help relax her, which her doctor approved. We started making bed time fun, we do a "night night" walk where she walks through the house and says 'night night' to everyone including the animals, then we read a book that is calm and soothing, we let her put herself in the bed since she is in a twin bed (formerly a toddler but she didn't like it). She gives hugs and kisses to her teddies and then she lays down. We always say "see you in the morning, night night". It took a lot of time and patience to get to this point and I almost lost my mind in the beginning. Try to make bedtime her idea and do something that can be made a part of the nightly routine, that is not going to be a burden. I have teenagers so DH and I would also allow them to do the routine with her so that she is not tied to one parent and won't go down for anyone else. I had to leave for a conference for two nights and she couldn't fine me and finally DH face timed me so she could say "night night" and then she finally went to bed.
Your little one is still transitioning and will need some time to get comfortable enough to have you walk away and know that you will come back or come when she calls. If you are ok with sitting until she falls asleep, sit in a chair in her room while she falls asleep, don't hold her, just let her see you and know that you are there. We did this for another little that we had with sleep/bedtime issues. He would pop his little head up to make sure I was still there and then eventually fell asleep, I would then slip out of the room. Its hard to find a perfect solution, but don't give up it will get better.
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