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Has anyone on here allowed the parents to come trick or treating with them? My FDs mom asked if she could come and u don't see the harm in it, so I passed the request up to the SW who emphasized that it's okay, but my eyes need to be on peapot at all times and her mom is never to be left alone with her.
Thankfully it's a group thing with me and 5 other adults and 6 more kids, the youngest of whom is still 4 years older than peapot. I'm a little nervous about meeting her mom for the first time. Visits are supervised and a transporters takes peapot to and from them.once a week. I speak to her mom at least a couple of times a week as well. Mom is always very appropriate and tells peapot she loves her and to be a good girl. Stuff like that.
How was it for you when you met your children's mom in person? Any suggestions?
We have ToTed with the parent before, and it was actually a lot of fun. Now that we've adopted that child and his younger sibling, we've continued the tradition. :-)
It's a nice way to interact with the parent(s) without the stress of everything else going on.
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Hi,
I know you posted this a while ago and have probably made a choice already but I am thinking about the same thing for Sneezy tonight. We have a group going out in our neighborhood and though we spend a lot of time with Sneezy's dad I really don't want him to come out with us. I know that sounds bad but, it's like having an extra kid with us when he's here. Also, Sneezys behavior is different for her dad than for us. He is much more laid back with her than we are, we run a tight ship. I just have not invited him...I have asked him what he plans to do with her today because he has just gotten unsupervised visits and a day pass. I really want to have fun with our friends and kids tonight and not have to worry about him and Sneezy. =:o If I were you I would probably let her come because I am all about keeping the peace with Bio's for the kids sake but it will be an added stress on you just because you don't know her yet and how PeaPot and mom are when they are together.
Also, are you tricking or treating in your neighborhood because then she will know where you live.
Time keeps on ticking :) Sorry, it has been awhile since I've been back to the forum. Busy with the new house I suppose..
You are right, i didn't want them to know where I live, so we trick or treated in my old neighborhood. It went really well. Seemed really low stress for everyone. No social workers or other workers around judging you. When the CASA told me how many people observed the first visit, I was a little surprised. I know they are behind glass, but I wonder if LO's mom felt all those eyes on her, judging her.
Oh well, no one has eyes on her now since it's been 2 months since she made a visit. I'm still really happy we trick or treated though since LO was so happy to see her mom, she did a double-take and ran to meet her and give her a hug. It warms the heart, that is, until the lack of visits continued. Hurumph.
Now I'm up late, on tenterhooks, because mom had her baby and I'm not sure if CPS will find out about it, although I did feel obligated to text the SW so she would know, but didn't get a reply. I also don't know whether I'll be placed with the baby. My SW said that would happen if mom didnt't ork her plan, but my agency is being squirrelly. I only have 3 weeks of leave, but a SAHM friend offered to watch the baby until the baby is old enough for daycare. What does my agency do? Asks me to find an daycare that is willing to take a newborn!!!!!! Seriously, isn't one reason why daycares don't take them until 6 weeks something to do with their immune systems and shots? Ugh, I'm definitely moving on from this agency after the placement is complete.Also, daycare is expensive and while I would be paying my friend, it wouldn't be anywhere near what a daycare would charge for care of a newborn. I know they allow FP to have babysitters for newborns because someone in my class took pride with their babysitter. And my babysitter is willing to do pride and everything. The only reason she isn't a FP is because her hubby isn't on board with it. Maybe it's a cost thing since this will be short term(ICPC received, then rejected and sent back to the sending state for being incomplete and now just waiting for them to amend it wih more info). ICPC relative has agreed to take LO and LO's brother. Alas, such is foster care.Que sera sera
I am wondering how long it will take for CPS to find them to take the baby into care. I'm prepared in terms of stuff, but am not sure if I'm ready for a newborn with a toddler. I have a friend (not the one listed above lol) whiose daughter is the same age as LO an she gave birth to her son last week. She is totally exhausted and that's with her MIL staying over to help. In any case, LO's mom and boyfriend done enough in their plan, they may be safe caregivers for the newest little one. I hope they are since they are trying to evade CPS and will likely be successful for a time.