Sad and a little worried

I saw my FFD today. She was with her mom (I knew they were working on her going back to mom). They didn't see me; I was driving by and saw them, and the circumstances I saw them in made me think mom may not be doing great. It was nothing unsafe/ illegal/ reportable. FFD looked good (the quick glimpse I got, anyway). It just brought up all those worries again about whether she will be okay, and whether her mom can make it. It also just made me sad, because I still miss her. Foster parenting really sucks sometimes. There is a part of me that wants to stop and never feel this again, and another part that is hoping to get a placement again soon, so I will have a new little one to focus on (and I know that doesn't work, because my son is enough to focus on, but it doesn't make the other part any easier).

Thanks. I appreciate the support. I'm really trying not to dwell on it, but it's really hard not to. She left me for a relative, by was RU'd later. My biggest comfort is that the family members are still involved, and they're good, so I'm pretty sure they will let someone know about any concerns they have or problems they see. They might not see it, but it's better than nothing.