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Hi everyone, My husband and I are in the process of adopting our niece, who is 3 years old. She is currently with a foster placement (she was placed there in Jan. 2014) and we are hopeful that she will be placed with us soon. Her bio mom is an addict, and while she loves her child, she is unable to care for her and has been TPRd. I need to add that she lives 1600 miles away, so we could not foster her while her mom was having weekly visits. As soon as we discovered that her mom was TPR, we identified ourselves as an adoptive placement. We had some contact with her before she was placed in foster care but the foster parents have not allowed us to visit her while she was with them, and so any information we got was through the social worker. We want a completely open adoption with her mother, as well as her foster placement, if at all possible. We believe it is in her best interest to know every aspect of her life, however we also want to shield her from the parts that won't make sense to her right now. Her bio mom won't have access to her until she gets the help she needs, and we want to help our niece understand the elements of her adoption and Coke out the other end with her own story to tell, and love in her heart. Can anyone here help us navigate this tricky situation? We love this girl so much and want her to be able to ask questions and get the answers; is there such a thing as being too open in adoption? Can any adult adoptees hep us understand what kind of pain she could be going through, or what we can do to help her best? We know and understand that a grieving process will happen; and we know that working through it with her will help us all understand each other better. We just don't know where to start.
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