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I hate Christmas since we adopted out kids. I know, I am awful. I tried to give them the best Christmas's, the lights, the gifts, the decorations outside, the whole thing. Its a lot of work. My 17 yr old son hates me. My 19 yr old is demanding due to his disability. Today we all went to pick out our tree. Any tree that I said was nice, my 17 yr old just looks at me with that asshole grin he does. I was done, I said "I am going home, you guys pick the tree out" My husband with them. So I went home. I took all the Christmas decorations from outside down. I know it seems I am being overly sensitive and immature, but I think Im done with all of this. I dont want any part of the holiday this year. I dont want to decorate the tree, invite all the family over (my husbands, not mine), and pretend that I just love everyone. The house is a mess because I am the only one that cleans and the kids leave all their dirty dishes around, their clothes all over the bathroom floor. I am just tired. I am venting, but at the same time, I really dont want the holidays. I have enough stress in my life c/ these kids, why am I adding more stress to it? The kids are old enough now, if they want the tree decorated, they can do it themselves. Am I being horrible? My kids treat me like garbage.
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Your feelings are understandable. What were the ages of your children at adoption? Are there known attachment issues or possible RAD? There is a group on Facebook. It is private, but a great source of support for parents with RAD children. If you believe this is what you are dealing with, you should search it out and join.You are not alone in your feelings. Parenting is difficult enough. Trying to parent difficult children is harder. Trying to parent unattached children is almost impossible. Search out support and know that you are not alone.
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