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I'm curious if anyone knows which is the best forum to connect with others regarding someone just reaching out to make contact. I finally sent a letter now the waiting game is on which is very painful. I've got all sorts of mixed emotions and have no idea if I will hear back or not.
I'm curious how others made initial contact, i.e. did you mail a latter, connect on Facebook, etc..
Is this the right forum? Thanks! -Chris
I think a letter is best. It allows the person you are contacting to start reading and put it away if they need time to process. Social media is just that. It is forever on the internet.
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That is actually how I connected :) I sent a letter to my birth sister.. I started it off gently and reassuring from my heart that I did not want discomfort or pain to her or her family and that I was not some type of stalking person. After a few reassuring sentences I told her to brace for what I was about to tell her.. that I was her birth sister and was placed into adoption. Then through the letter I told her about myself and how wonderful my adoption had been. I let her know that I was open for any communication if they desired. But that if they did not want contact to please at least provide me with medical information. I also sent a copy of one medical release that was signed by my birth mother while I was in the 6 month monitory waiting period in California that would allow my adopted family to get medical treatment for me. Having that paper showed my birth mothers signature. I then closed the letter saying I looked forward to hearing from them and if I did not hear anything I would send one more letter of the same but through registered mail that had to be singed for. That way I would know for sure that it reached them and they wished not to have contact.
In my case everything went wonderful! She immediately called me. I had given an email, a phone number and a regular street mail address. I also gave her may name on my Facebook account if they wanted to see pictures of me. In my case I was also undeniable looked just like another sister that we had that had recently passed. By different contact methods iI felt it gave her the opportunity to contact me the way she felt would be best for her. She wrote on sentence in an email sent it and then she changed her mind and called me. Fortunately she knew about me and my adoption and could not have been happier. However her older brother had never heard about me and it was a bit of a shock for him.. but after the initial shock wore off he too wanted contact with me. My sister also was the one who placed the three way phone call introducing me to our mother! It was beautiful for all of us. The whole process took about 2 months but worth the wait for she knew the family situation and I was patient for her to approach it the way she felt would be best for the family she grew up in.
My birth parents had divorced before she was born. She also made contact with an uncle to have him tel my birthfather about me. He did not make contact with me after he was notified and it has been 3 months so I assume he does not want contact and I am fine with that. In the mean time I have through social media and such met so many people that have accepted me as family. I was able to thank my mother for her courageous gift of placing me and we are all in a real good place right now. For me I just did not push myself on to them and they where more than accepting. For me medical records were the most important and being an accepted part of the family was just a bonus. That way I would not have been let down.
I do hope it all works out for you as well.