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We are in the overwhelming process of choosing an international agency for China. We are looking for any recommendations or warnings about agencies. We are looking for an agency that makes an effort and supports keeping China families together first (training, aid, medical, etc.), and also advocates for special needs placements. Beyond that we are looking for an agency that works efficiently and communicates consistently.We would also like the agency to have their own children from individual listings and/or work with their own orphanages for child placements to increase our probability of a placement. I know that's a lot- but please PM if you have any feedback. Nothing beats first hand experience. Thank you!
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I'm not sure how much you know about China adoption.
With China, most of the children have been abandoned. As a result, there is no way to help keep families together. Some children are abandoned because the birthparents had an over-quota child, and could be in legal jeopardy if they either tried to raise the child or place him/her for adoption. Single women who had an accidental pregnancy would bring shame to their families, and could lose their jobs, their apartments, and so on. There are no privacy laws in China, and people are actually encouraged to inform on their neighbors, so going to an orphanage or adoption agency isn't really an option, as the news would become public rapidly. Agencies aren't going to be able to change China's culture in this regard.
There was a very sad story on-line at one point, about two young people from another Asian country, whom China gave scholarships to attend college. They were the first children in their respective families, both very poor, to go to college. In the admission documents, China made it clear that they would lose their scholarships if they married and/or had children before graduating. Unfortunately, they fell in love, and a pregnancy occurred. Working through a close friend who would protect their privacy, they tried to find a Chinese family for the child, but no one they met had either permission to have another child or the means to raise a child. The friend inquired about adoption via an orphanage, and was told that orphanages in China can't accept children whom they know to be non-Chinese. The couple could not let their families in their home country know, as it would be horribly scandalous. The couple tried to get citizenship in their own country for the child so they could place their child there, but there was no way for the father to admit paternity and obtain citizenship for the child without informing the authorities in their birthplace, where their parents lived. They were told that the only way to make an adoption plan was to abandon their child in China, in secret.
There are many other reasons for a family to find it necessary to make an adoption plan through abandonment. As an example, if a birthparent goes to prison for political dissent, or for any other serious offense, the relatives would know that his/her child would face huge discrimination, and that giving him/her a fresh start by abandoning him/her near an orphanage might be the only possibility. Also, having a child with a special need, especially a very visible one, is often stigmatizing to a family. People may call the parents "unlucky" or "cursed", or may believe that the parents must have committed great sins to have given birth to a child with a disability, so it is often the case that the child is abandoned. You should also know that the parents of a couple who bring a girl baby into the world may insist that their children abandon the baby and try for a boy. There's no Medicare in China, and in traditional families, it is the duty of a son to care for his parents when they get old; daughters go to take care of their in-laws, with their spouses. If you can have only one child, there may be very great pressure to follow tradition and try for a son.
Even when children with known parents are brought to an orphanage, it may not be possible to reunite them with their parents. It is not uncommon for children to be placed in an orphanage because their parents died in an accident, and no one else in the family can raise them. It is also not uncommon for grandparents to try to raise a child when parents cannot, but then to place the child for adoption when they get too old. Children with known parents tend to be those who are older.
I agree with you that agencies should encourage U.S. agencies should encourage families to stay together, but in China, by the time a child gets to an orphanage, it's usually too late. When an agency provides financial help for children in an orphanage, it is often for the purpose of helping them survive and become more adoptable; as an example, a child with severe heart disease might die if he/she does not have surgery. And a child with a cleft palate might not be able to eat and grow properly, might become deaf from frequent ear infections caused by milk and food getting into the wrong places, etc.
With regard to children in orphanages, I would rather see agencies focus on helping those who will never be adopted, because of age or disability. As an example, China does not allow adoption of a child once he/she reaches his/her 14th birthday. And most orphanages can't accommodate children past the age of 16-18 or so. A few children may stay on as adults, becoming nannies. Otherwise, many will wind up on the street with little education and no job skills. They may wind up becoming part of the sex trade, may become homeless, may get involved with gangs and crime, etc. As in most countries, they may develop serious diseases such as AIDS, or they may die young because of violence. I'd love to see agencies develop programs in orphanages to help children, and especially older boys (who are the hardest to place for adoption) get job training, possibly in conjunction with community organizations. Agencies are already doing a great deal for children in orphanages who have disabilities, but older children at risk of aging out may not be so lucky. China says that Chinese orphans should have a chance to go to college, but many of the children won't have enough education to qualify for admission, and it should be possible for them to get vocational education instead.
Under the Hague Convention, families and agencies have some limitations on direct contact with orphanages. The goal is to prevent unethical practices -- for example when money changes hands so that a particular agency will get "the best babies". China is to be commended for its efforts to create a clean adoption system; it's not perfect, but it is one of the best in the world, right up there with Korea. It is only recently that it has allowed orphanage partnerships, and what can be done in these arrangements is limited. Liberalization of the rules has been undertaken only to help children who are the least adoptable find homes. As an example, China now allows families to look at pictures and medical reports of some special needs and older children, and to put in a request for a child they think they can parent. The adoption agency may screen parents before giving preliminary approval for them to send a dossier to China for that child, but it is still the central government, through what used to be called the CCAA, that has to approve the match and make the official referral of the child to the parents.
Today, the "healthy infant" program is virtually non-existent. The only people getting referrals are those who have been in the pipeline for years, and many of the children referred have what used to be considered minor special needs, such as extra toes or fingers, a prominent birthmark, an undescended testicle, a "lazy eye", etc. You should not go into a China adoption today unless you are open either to having China choose an older or special needs child for you, or unless you are willing to choose a child from information sent to agencies and hope that you will be selected as his/her parents. Agencies don't really have their own orphanage; they may have a partnership with an orphanage, and are allowed to advocate for the children in it, to some extent, but it is up to the Chinese government to make an official match of a child to a family.
Most agencies that continue to work with China have special needs programs that focus on helping kids get adopted. Some programs, of course, are better and bigger than others. A tiny agency may not have the resources to start major medical, educational, or job training programs. And what an agency wants to do has to be acceptable to the Chinese government and to the local officials and orphanage director. In most cases, for example, China forbids agencies from photolisting children with identifying information, although some agencies do it anyway and put their programs at risk.
If you are truly committed to adopting a child of school age and/or a child with disabilities, choose an agency that has been working for China for many years, knows China's rules and procedures thoroughly, and prepares families well for the challenges of parenting a child who may have a good many unknowns. No matter what's in the medical report or social history, there may be things that are wrong or missing.
I have a wonderful daughter from China, who is now 20 and a student at a well-respected university in the U.S. She came home as healthy, when she was 18.5 months of age, having been abandoned when she was about 9 months old, but had some medical issues, including a rather severe feeding problem that kept her from growing well for the first year or so. Luckily, she overcame her rough start, and is a most amazing young woman -- just quite petite. As far as I'm concerned, China adoption is wonderful, but I went into it well prepared and somewhat comfortable with unknown birthparent health issues, possibly incorrect medical information, and the fact that a child who has lost his/her biological parents is at risk for some emotional challenges.
Sharon
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Hi, I agree trying to find the right agency for your family can be overwhelming. I wrote a blog series which gives questions to ask potential agencies to try and find the right fit. You can find it here:
Since you mentioned family preservation as a high priority I would suggest looking into Holt International. They are the only agency I can think of which offers family preservation programs within China. Many agencies provide aid but it is usually limited to children already in state care. Love Without Boundaries and OneSky are two excellent organizations which support family preservation in China but they are not adoption agencies. Best wishes on your adoption journey!
When you say
' And also advocates for special needs placements. Beyond that we are looking for an agency that works efficiently and communicates consistently. .We would also like the agency to have their own children from individual listings and/or work with their own orphanages for child placements to increase our probability of a placement. I know that's a lot- '
China is currently processing Dossiers of Families from October of 2006 or 2007 and the ' backlog ' is expected to take until 2024.
' Special Needs Adoption ' is the only Advocacy to Adopt Kids currently.
You are ' expecting a Miracle ' to occur with any agency . ' That works efficiently and communicates consistently?? '
It's also been three months since you first posted. How is life now please??
How did it go with your Family choosing an Agency please??