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Hello,
I am really glad I found this website because I have been wanting to find a someone who is open to adopting an adult (me). I know the ideal is to adopt and infant or young child, but I believe there are some people who wish to form bonds of love even if it is with an older child.
About me, I am 26 years old and I grew up with a mother who had some kind of stunted emotional development. Many people who know her well describe her as someone who is like a young child, almost like an 11 or 13 year old, and it was incredibly difficult to grow up with a mother like that (I could never express the distress I have felt accurately in words, so I will not try to do so at length, here). I always wondered why my mother acted so immaturely and why I couldn't have a strong, maternal figure who I respected, who could guide me/teach me things, and who I could depend on. It has been a source of a lot of pain in my life, and although there is not much I can change about my relationship with my birth mother, I am now reaching out to this community to see if there is anyone who has thought about adopting an adult daughter.
Just so you know, I think that my struggles with my mom made me want to be nothing like her, and I worked incredibly hard to try to become a strong, independent and hardworking woman. I actually graduated from an Ivy League university in the top 5% of my class and I am hoping to attend law school in the fall. (I have been accepted! and am waiting on decisions from a few more law schools).
I am also living in New Jersey right now but may move when I go to law school. I am not looking for any financial support of any other form of dependency, and I would not be a residential adoptee, obviously. I am really just looking for someone who has wanted a daughter who I can care for and love as the mother, like I have always wanted. I am also not idealistic--I know no relationship is perfect, but I truly have a lot of love to give to a mother figure and hope that we can support each other and, perhaps, fulfill each other's lives a bit more through this adoption.
If this sounds like something you would be interested in, please email me at perksofbeingasunflower2@gmail.com
I really look forward to hearing from you, and I am truly glad that I found this community.
Best,
Jean
Last update on April 3, 9:01 pm by Eunie Jean.
I don't know if this website does the uk I'm 18 and I've left care and am now on my own and I'm looking for a mother figure as I never wanted to be by myself I just wanted a mum a bit of a fun mum who's caring and maybe still a little young don't know really how to use this website ??
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Hi, everyone!
I am a 40 years old idependent woman. I am looking for a mother and father figures. I have a 12 years old daughter and I am 2 months pregnant. I am very stable in all areas of my life. I funally decided I want to have a family as I was left by my mother when I was 11 and my father has dementia. So, I ended up alone and I think I am too young for that. Besides, I would like to share the good things in my life. I am not a sad person, I just think life is better when we share love.
My hear is heavy when i think or say this out loud. But I need a Mother figure :( I am 32 soon to be 33yrs and my own biological mother preferred a pedophile instead of me. I do not know where my biological father is and I feel sometimes lost and unwanted.
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My hear is heavy when i think or say this out loud. But I need a Mother figure :( I am 32 soon to be 33yrs and my own biological mother preferred a pedophile instead of me. I do not know where my biological father is and I feel sometimes lost and unwanted.
I understand Carolyn and my heart goes out to you. Don't feel lost or unwanted,..although I've felt that way myself at times. How can I contact you privatly.
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I think and even say this quite often. I'm 31 years old and my life has been one disaster after the next more often than not. Seemingly endless adversity, much of it being no deliberate fault of my own. Now I'm fighting like hell to give my children the life their father and I were both cheated out of at the hands of our parents and other "life guides" who came after.
Most of the time, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I'd give my good arm if I could "adopt" grandparents for my littles, as we don't have anyone left who cares one way or another about our livelihood. I'm due to give birth November 1, and I don't even know who's going to help with our 2 toddlers while I recover and adjust to new motherhood again. I'm terrified I'm going to fall on my face and fail miserably.
Not just with this birth, but entirely.
One thing I will say though... If my parents taught me anything, it's how NOT to raise my children. If my parents ever gave me anything besides heartache, turmoil, and drug addiction (4 years sober because my life just isn't about me anymore!), they, unwittingly gave me the will and the heart to push through and conquer any adversity I'm faced with without ever allowing myself to be defeated. I'm stubborn as hell and REFUSE to fail.
If only you knew my whole story... You'd be amazed, guaranteed. That said, I know I have yet to see the end of hard times. My 2-year-old threw every penny we had to survive on for the coming months out of the window of my SUV last week. $3k long gone, never to be seen again I guess. I panicked, walked & drove back and forth on that stretch of highway it was thought to be lost, cried, grieved myself sick... but I know we will be okay. We always are. I don't know where our next will even come from. That was the rest of my disability back-pay after a near-fatal car crash 3 years ago this week almost took us all out.
I'm still beaten and broken, but I will never give up. I know I still have fight left in me. If nothing has broken me yet, then nothing ever will.
This is what I live by right here... A statement I've been working to perfect since the start of pursuing my passionate purpose last year. (I will finally get it written right at some point! Lol)
There is not a single person, entity, or event on this face of this planet that holds any power in your life-- unless you CHOOSE to allow it to. We are the sole heir to our destiny! The moment we decide to take ownership and begin wielding the power which we ALL hold within is the moment we set off on our TRUE path-- to conquer awaiting adversity, to fulfill our meaningful purpose in this life, to chase (and reach!) our everlasting dreams, and to FINALLY live life by our very own design. The pain of a past life should be used as nothing more than learning curves to ultimately transform that which you possess into the trove of your wisdom and the hub of your given power. Persistence is key, and mindset is EVERYTHING.
The uncertainty of the end of life (i.e. When? What's next?) should be enough reason in itself for NO ONE to want to spend a single moment in misery when happiness is such a very REAL and simple choice that anyone in any situation on any walk of life, no matter their past or present circumstances, is fully capable of making and achieving. Not an easy choice, and I know it's so much harder for some of us than others, but it is a simple one. Just takes REAL effort and retirement of the pity pot that tends to leave rings on so many people's butts so much of the time. That's an unfortunate truth right there. I'm here to testify. I had a ring around my butt for the better part of 27 years and still find it wanting to creep back in sometimes.
Don't you ever lose hope, sister. You DO have a purpose in this life outside of missing what was stolen from you. I can promise you that. I have dreams that seem so far out of reach, but the harder I push, the closer I get to them. My purpose, other than setting my babies up for success, laying the world at their feet, and giving them a life full of opportunity, is to do my part in changing the lives of others just like me from cheating themselves out of the life they're fully capable of living on their own terms.
That wasn't really my reason for joining this forum today, but I hate to see anyone in pain when I've been or am currently in those same shoes and there's even a slight chance something I say may help put them at any ease. I know my story can, has, and will continue to change lives. I didn't realize just how widespread the connection may actually be. I really hope that my words could help give you a little hope today. <3
I want to share a photo of what gives me my reason to fight like hell. :-)
My hear is heavy when i think or say this out loud. But I need a Mother figure :( I am 32 soon to be 33yrs and my own biological mother preferred a pedophile instead of me. I do not know where my biological father is and I feel sometimes lost and unwanted.
Carolyn, my first comment was in response to this one you made. Sorry, I just joined today and I haven't figured out exactly how to navigate everything yet. Keep your head held high.
That all goes for the rest of you as well! Never give up your fight! Your life will only ever be what you allow and what YOU make of it!!!
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I understand how that feels and I had a similar childhood specially after my Dad died. I also want a mother, a mentor, someone who can guide me. I am also looking for a family and want to be adopted and your post gives me the strength to create my own post for this. I wish you the best.
Hello,
I am really glad I found this website because I have been wanting to find a someone who is open to adopting an adult (me). I know the ideal is to adopt and infant or young child, but I believe there are some people who wish to form bonds of love even if it is with an older child.
About me, I am 26 years old and I grew up with a mother who had some kind of stunted emotional development. Many people who know her well describe her as someone who is like a young child, almost like an 11 or 13 year old, and it was incredibly difficult to grow up with a mother like that (I could never express the distress I have felt accurately in words, so I will not try to do so at length, here). I always wondered why my mother acted so immaturely and why I couldn't have a strong, maternal figure who I respected, who could guide me/teach me things, and who I could depend on. It has been a source of a lot of pain in my life, and although there is not much I can change about my relationship with my birth mother, I am now reaching out to this community to see if there is anyone who has thought about adopting an adult daughter.
Just so you know, I think that my struggles with my mom made me want to be nothing like her, and I worked incredibly hard to try to become a strong, independent and hardworking woman. I actually graduated from an Ivy League university in the top 5% of my class and I am hoping to attend law school in the fall. (I have been accepted! and am waiting on decisions from a few more law schools).
I am also living in New Jersey right now but may move when I go to law school. I am not looking for any financial support of any other form of dependency, and I would not be a residential adoptee, obviously. I am really just looking for someone who has wanted a daughter who I can care for and love as the mother, like I have always wanted. I am also not idealistic--I know no relationship is perfect, but I truly have a lot of love to give to a mother figure and hope that we can support each other and, perhaps, fulfill each other's lives a bit more through this adoption.
If this sounds like something you would be interested in, please email me at perksofbeingasunflower2@gmail.com
I really look forward to hearing from you, and I am truly glad that I found this community.
Best,
Jean
1 Liked
 likes this.
My hear is heavy when i think or say this out loud. But I need a Mother figure :( I am 32 soon to be 33yrs and my own biological mother preferred a pedophile instead of me. I do not know where my biological father is and I feel sometimes lost and unwanted.
I'm deeply sorry for this. Same thing happened to me. I also wish I had a mother. Someone who actually wants to be a mother.
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I am also looking for a mother figure, someone strong willed, opinionated, loving, caring and dominant. If anyone reading this thinks they fit the needs that i have then please contact me. I have lots of love to give am loyal, logical and hold a wide range of knowledge on many subjects including but not limited to law, accountancy, first aid, education, DIY, some games, martial arts.
I'm sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong place but I couldn't figure out where else to do this. My name is Chleo and I'm 28. I'm looking for a family to adopt me in Georgia. I never had a dad. And my mother abused and controlled me as a child. She doesn't love me. She has finally stole my children from me when she sought custody from the court. I haven't heard from her and she won't respond to me. I haven't seen my children. This is the ultimate evil and I realize I want to be adopted. I've never had a family that loves and cares about me. Please contact me and we can talk more if you feel drawn. My email is raredesigned777@gmail.com.
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i'm 22 year old girl from India. i read all the messages and i'm feeling the same problem of ignorance .i have my family .i have elder brother in my family but i always feel neglected from my parents ,they love their son and always control me , i feel such feeling from my childhood .many time i feel that i should run away and leave my family but at that time i feel that i'm not matured that's why i never take that step but now i m adult and think maturely. but my thinking about my parents's partiality doesn't change . i also think many time that i want someone who love me like a mom or dad . now i changed my mind . now i wanted to be a successful lady so that i can adopt a girl who is facing the same situation like me . i know how it feels when your parents love only to his son not daughter . i want the good wishes from you all. just prey for me that i can do what i have dream for . i can not see any girl surviving like me nd also want to give advice to you all . please be a person who can adopt child instead of being adopted because there are more child than parents .
I live in an abusive situation, I really need help please just read this or share
https://adoption.com/forums/thread/484569/young-ad...
On top of what is written above here I will say more about me in this
(sorry, I struggle to write long and might have to divide everything in parts including research right now due to dealing with my health and, yes, might have been slow in this process but I’m still committed to find my family)
As I mentioned my biological parents are mentally ill, they had a terrible life, bad life circumstances and traumas they don't acknowledge because they had to fight a lot to work and survive. My father was put in an orphanage where he remained until he aged out at 15 and started to go to work. Neither of my parents had the chance to go to high school, like many other people here in Italy that were born around that time and with that post-war misery. My mother was raised by a single mother (due to her father being sick and then dying) with two sisters. Her mother started working during elementary school and her parents had her drop out of elementary school in third grade (They had 9 kids) So my mother lived with a mother that would work hard cleaning houses and left her and my two aunts home alone to go work since the age of two. My mother always recalls that she accidentally hit her head once as a child or teen and her mother didn't bring her to the hospital to get her checked. She just didn't know she should. She didn't have opportunities, she didn't even finished elementary school. Both of my parents were raised with violence, my father in the orphanage and my mother with her mother and sisters. Those were times were people struggled a lot, that's how they were raised, with their parents being violent, not knowing how to deal or educate someone different than you (your child), giving children "the belt", that would leave marks. Elena Ferrante represents the reality of those times very well, in her bestsellers. I don't know how those times were in any other place in the world, but I'm very interested in ASL and deaf culture, and know, that sadly there was a lot of violence in schools in America when deaf kids would use their hands to even attempt to sign. And they were forced to speak, the teachers would physically block their hands so they wouldn't sign. That's hartbreaking and devastating to say the least.
I was raised with physical violence as the norm. I received a lot of it, from both but especially from my mother, on top of "just" hitting me, I had her hands on my throat and was blocked to the ground many times, I still have a tooth that was chipped/a part of it broke (it is still that way, it is visible)? sorry for my English, as a result of being smashed against a radiator. All of this has went on since I have memory of it. My father would work for the family, including weekends and holiday, and in my childhood it was mostly me and her. On top of this, another type of abuse went on. Before having me, my mother had two miscarriages, in fact my parents had me late.I'm an only child, I will be 25 in April and they are 69 (male) and almost 62 (female). Because of this, my mother suffered (but never got any help for it, I don't think she ever even acknowledge that) from something that I now recognize and think of it as a psychological pregnancy. So on top of violence, she also used to try to "make me go back in her belly". She also once had her hands on my throat when I was in the hospital and had just had an epidural and a knee surgery (I was 15) Despite the physical abuse stopped in the past two years, since my health got worse, the verbal one is still very much present.
Since I last posted my ad, I tutor a girl in English conversation (from home) once a week, I have worked 4 years in London as I wrote in my post so that's where my English comes from. As of now I can't do more than that, but with time, I also hope to translate from bed. A friend from Taiwan who is a professional translator suggested lots of useful sites like Amara, Rev, etc. And I try to dedicate whatever time I can with my health, time after time, to do the (at least) two sample translations that are required by Amara in order to apply for a translator position with them. I've been told once you apply you can choose how many hours a week you can work. That would be the perfect job for me (so I'm now working on acing those two translations) and will give me the opportunity to save money for myself, as I said I'd love to go back to study and take my High school diploma (at least, but If I have the opportunity to even college classes, university, etc, I'm a geek and love studying and learning constantly.) I would love to adopt one day, when I'm in a stable and long term relationship and with a stable job, but let's not think that far ahead, one thing at a time. :)
As I wrote in my post I know I might not be the easiest pick and have to be honest and upfront with/in that and that is due to and that I cost money but I’m committed to earn things, to give back love, and to work as much as my disability allows to pay for my online studying so I’m being honest in every single reason I want to be adopted: abusive home and situation, wanting to give myself, a better future, people to call family and love, trust, getting to know each other and see if a bond is formed, to learn everything that means to be a family. I know it won’t heal my present and past wounds and I still have work to do in therapy to heal from my trauma and the mental health it brought me, but I’m determined to do so and not to give up on it and myself, ever.
If you think this adoption can be difficult for your family, it is ok, again, I totally get it, no hard feelings, I understand and I thank you very much for “just” reading this, it really means the world to me.
Otherwise, if you think you might like to read and see more about me (I’m an open book) I’m on social media: Facebook Vanessa Tanini, IG vanessatanini, Twitter @EBroLifts_ .
I’m not gonna hide that when you google my name a old but still open gofundme will also be there (in which I explain ehlers danlos syndrome and its comorbidities further, public health and public health waiting, the fact that eds doesn't have universal treatment, that is not as rare as they think it is but still rarely diagnosed, like Professor Grahame said it is the most neglected disease in the history of modern medicine, thankfully is not the worse and I'm really grateful for that, he didn't mean to say it is the worst at all, just that it is the most neglected, and if you have any question the ehlers danlos society is the best resource so far or you could ask me). I’m sincere in the fact that I'm not mentioning my gofundme for any other reason than just telling you that is also one thing that might come up when you google my name to check that I'm a real person. I like to write and do activism on social media when I can and I love to raise awareness on any topic I found my way, that's one more fact about me.
If you think you would like to talk and start getting to know each other, through emails, calls, videocalls I’m all for it.
Thanks either way, for listening, and if you and your family are already complete, all my congratulations, blessing, and love. I understand.
Sincerely,
Vanessa