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From the article: "When you adopt an older child, they have an active role in the relationship you build together. Trust is built together once they get to learn all about you and their new home, once you provide them love, safety, and support consistency. There is a choice here that is not as present with the adoption of younger children. To add on this concept, there is so much you can experience with older children! They are more at a place to know themselves: personality, quirks, likes, dislikes, pains, joys, thoughts, and feelings. Because of this, you develop a close relationship with the little people they are, and help them continue to grow and flourish." Have you ever regret because of adopting an older child?
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I`m a little bit confused. I know, that there will be a lot of firsts, but, on the other hand how can I cope with a child`s (not iridescent) past?My friends have adopted a 7 years old boy from India, and to tell you the truth, if they had an opportunity to give him back to the orphanage, they would do it. They don`t know handle him, noone has influence with him. This boy is not naughty, no. He behaves himself as if he still lives in the orphanage, as if he is by himself. It`s awful, when parents want to take care about their child,but he doesn`t need their love.
I'm not sure where that article comes from, but it's completely sugar-coating the issue and ignores the often devastating realities of adopting an older child -- especially internationally. What if it were you? What if you were taken away from your home (inadequate though it might be), away from the people you know, away from your language and culture -- and taken to a foreign place to live among strangers?Too many people adopt internationally because they think they're "rescuing" a child, then get upset when the child isn't grateful and appreciative. With any child, but more so with an older one, you get what you get.
Last update on April 8, 5:57 pm by Angry Adoptee.