Closed Adoptions And Facebook

What would you do? We adopted from Texas about five years ago. At least at that time, we were told to never make contact with the birth parents now that the case was closed. So many complicating factors have arisen. One is that we have attempted to make keep contact with a Biological brother that ended up living with a different father than our kiddos. We had him visit last summer. Without our knowing, his dad got him back in contact with his mom (same mom as our kids). While he was visiting, he pulled out his cell phone and tried texting on behalf of our kids with their mom. Again, we found out only later. Second complication: Through this brother, our oldest child, who is on Facebook, has already "friended" her maternal aunt, and now that Biological mom is also on Facebook, could very easily make contact with her directly. The tough question is this: Even if we thought the kids should have some contact with Biological parents, the state told us not to allow it? Would you defy the state? Would you allow any contact at all? How would you go about monitoring it? We already keep all electronic devices in only common rooms of the house, and I am the only one with the login information to our oldest child's accounts. I check the activity daily.

They're your kids now. I would allow it. I was also told no contact with bio parents. But adopted kids have a loss and some contact may help them. Do yours have behavioral problems? Mine did and putting them in contact with bio dad, who's incarcerated, has worked wonders for them.

I ' Ditto ' or I second with what ' Millie ' is saying . I would question or look at though ?? Specifically what if anything has changed in the relationships since the Adoptions!!As well as document the date ( or close to it ) of what the Brother did with the Texting as well also..

Did CPS give you a reason that the parents should not be contacted? I would go with what the others have said. Ignore the state, they are your children and you do what feels best for you and, especially the kids. I would monitor communications. My only exception would be if the state had told you it would be best for you not to contact the biological parents because they were a safety threat of some sort.

You may want to gauge if the bios are a threat. I was told little to no contact with my 2 older ones because she wasn't equipped emotionally to be a mother. BUT, they had a relationship with her. With my 2 youngest: bio dad is in prison with serious charges. He's fighting them as he wasn't anywhere near the crime scene when it happened. I say this to say that not all caseworkers have accurate information. Also, bio may be a crappy human being but be a parent a kid wants to know. Allowing contact lessens the rejection the kids feel. And they do feel rejection.