TPR Questions

I'm sorry if this is a little long. Our current placement is a sibling group 7 year old, FD and 3 year old, FS. Our FD was recently diagnosised with autism. We are their third placement (second in foster care). They stayed with family members 2 months & have been in foster care 15 months for a total of 17 months out of their Birth Mom's care (BF is not involved & signed a denial, they filed on him as well, but I'm not worried about him). We have had them the past year & plan to adopt. Our FD cries saying she doesn't want to go back & that this is her world now and has no bond with Birth Mom (even calls her by name) & an intense bond with our family (she calls herself our family name & says her last name is her old name). Our FS doesn't really know his Birth Mom as a mother at all. Goals were changed to adoption in June (14 months, after given an extention). This month, they've filed the paper work for TPR. We're now waiting on them to serve (if they haven't already) & to set a court date, which we already know we have to testify at. My question is that, with it filed, if she starts making more progress between now & the trial date, will they postpone TPR or deny it? She had a relapse on heroin after 10 months in state care (really she was never clean, but that's when she admitted it), then went to "rehab" right at her year mark (which is why she got the extension on goal change). Since, I believe she's tested clean (5 months total, including while in treatment). However, the rehab was only 6 weeks and the judge wasn't too kind about it. She is going to some NA meetings but the judge said not enough. They also said they will have to monitor a very long time to believe she's clean & going to stay that way due to the late relapse. The only thing she's completely finished was the parenting classes. She's done SOME of the drug classes but has about 10 more weeks if she goes to every one. The real issues are that she has still failed to gain employment but now she's getting interviews (so progress) & that she has bounced from place to place, even spending months in a homeless shelter. She's now staying in an apartment with a friend (technically progress as well) but the kids can't go there because it's a studio apartment only. & the people she's staying with also have a CPS case open. Her boyfriend of 2 weeks is also now living there & he does drugs plus stole a gun (she posts this stuff on FB publically!). Her decision making still isn't very good... They also said in the visits she doesn't demonstrate good parenting skills still & that she doesn't interact with the kids or know how to control them. Her visits have stayed the same the entire time we've had them (every 2 weeks, 2 hours, supervised, staff in the room). She doesn't get phone calls at all and hasn't in over 8 months (besides FD birthday, supervised by SW). She's actually been making really inappropriate comments that have caused our FD to require anxiety/depression medication by saying things like, "she misses her so much she cries all night long" "our FD has been here too long" "she dreams about them" "she misses waking up next to them" and on & on. She isn't finished with the case plan or even close... Much less been monitored to be stable. At this point, I don't think they can argue that it'll be in the kids' best interest to postpone the TPR, especially with our FD being autistic and our FS being so young. However, until they've granted TPR I'm going to be a nervous wreck so I just wanted input on whether or not you all think there's a chance they'll give her a break after all this time. Also, I was curious if anyone knows roughly when we can expect the trial date to be set (we're in KY)? & if anyone knows if she is still receiving services from DCBS or if they stop pushing once they file (I don't know if they keep offering and pushing or if they'll just help if she comes to them now)? I realise the date can be postponed, case extended, etc but I doubt our judge will put up with it (she has been scheduling 6 weeks out max). Thanks for any help!

It's hard to say. I would say if she's trying, she may get an extension. But if the judge doesn't think she's doing enough, she may not. It's hard to say. I will say that if you adopt them, please find a way to keep her either near or in their lives, however slight. At some point, they will want to know about her.

Right now the plan is to give her updates and pictures IF she doesn't drag this process out. Our FD is about to be medicated due to the anxiety being caused by things BM is saying. But due to the environment she's still in and the poor interactions at visits, we don't want her involved with them at all. We do want to help them contact her when they are older teens or adults if they choose. The fact she still has a ton of classes, no job, and no safe place... Plus bad decisions makes me think a judge won't put up with it. Especially since prior to this, even after the judge gave her an extension, she did nothing.

It would help us greatly to advise ya'll ??If ya'll post what state you live in please??Alot of Rehabilitation Services would cease, stop or halt if Termination of Parental Rights happened.The Judge should look at what is the ' Best Interests of the Kids. ' and not of the Adults as well also!!Do the Kids have either a Guardian Ad Litem '' GAL ' or ' CASA ' Court Appointed Special Advocate, and what are these People's take of your case as well also??

We are in KY. I'm unsure if they stopped paying for/arranging/pushing for services or just allow her to volunteerly seek them out. And the kids do have a GAL. We foster through a private agency and the case manager said it's just a waiting game now. The state worker said that they don't even file TPR unless they have enough to win it. Our judge has mentioned TPR at our last 2 court hearings (annual review and then at the goal change - she granted a 6 week extention. At the annual so they weren't the same & she said she was scheduling a TPR meeting). So everyone is on board. I'm just afraid things will change even though she doesn't have a job still and is in a studio apartment with another adult.

Professionally and as a Mom speaking. ' Birth Mom ' doesn't have a way. Unless she has figured out the ' Welfare System , ' or getting ' Child Support ' from Dad to financially support either or both herself or the Kids.She could ( barely possibly ) evict the other Adult, and still live with the Kids in a ' Studio ' . As well as get some type of ' Housing Subsidy Assistance ,'What I would do Professionally and as a Mom speaking get your Daughter's Pediatrician and Education System to make written statements in her behalf.

I don't think she qualifies for any aid at this point (she's used it and is now past the amount of time she can draw, she's even lost her food stamps - she told us at visit). The bio dad doesn't care & won't pay even if ordered, he hasn't seen the kids in over 18 months. She can't kick the roommate out, the lease is the roommates name and she's just allowing bio mom to stay there. And she also can't get a low income... At the annual review they said housing had dropped her case for noncompliance.

Would either you or the Foster Care Agency be ' Ticklish ' with the idea of you speaking with Mom one on one or having a ' heart to heart talk .' Basically see where she stands with you being Parents , or ??? She may change her mind and terminate tomorrow or next week ??

Sorry. I posted the previous Post prior to reading your New Post, but I still mean or meant what I said originally!!

I don't think that it is in the Kids especially your Daughter's ' Best Interests ' to have ' Physical Contact ' at this point in time. I agree with the other Poster . ' Keep the door open for visits should the Kids choose .'Possibly do something maybe with ' Social Media .' The issue I see is time.Mom could stall for 6 more months, or the Judge may ' see through her... .'

We agreed to give bio our email but we aren't ok with any contact because of things that have been said, continually, for the past year. Her therapist also agrees that contact should stop, he's wanted visits to stop for awhile but they don't want to hinder reunification services so nothing can be said against them. However, since TPR is filed, I want them to continue to try to have good ones (if possible), so the last contact they have is good instead of bad and to hopefully give FD some closure. Once adoption goes through, I won't have visits again. When they're older teens/adults, I will give them the contact info if they'd like it and help any way I can. Not a set age, just when they are mature enough to ask out of interest not spite because they got grounded or something. lol It's already filed, so court will happen in the semi-near future. They're having a "TPR meeting" in a couple weeks, I'm assuming to see if she is going to sign or do trial and set up court dates.Which that'll be month 16 in foster care and 18 out of the home.