Justifying fundraising for dual income couple?

Our situation: We don't qualify for assistance based on need. We also don't qualify for most of the tax credit. However, we live in one of the most expensive housing areas of the country, and just bought a bigger house so we could adopt a sibling group internationally (foster care didn't work out). Last month one car died, so now we have an unexpected new car payment. We can afford the 1st child, the 2nd and 3rd are the issue. I'm a contractor, so am subject to the whims of the Government in terms of job security. Was out of work for a month during last gov't shutdown. Don't want a loan we might have trouble repaying. Already had a few comments that we have "too much money" to be asking for help raising funds and should just "suck it up". Any suggestions on how to respond to such comments? or should we just cut back on our adoption dreams?

Let me suggest that you adopt one child now. Then, after you have parented for a year or two, if you still feel called to adopt and have the resources to adopt another child, do so. There are many children available internationally, although it may not always be possible to adopt very young children.Yes, children in sibling groups definitely need homes. But you can't "save the world"; you have to do what your resources allow. In your case, you say that you can afford to adopt and raise one child, so that is what you should do. That child, at least, will have a home.Also, remember that you don't have to have a large house or a new car to adopt. As long as you can provide a safe and welcoming home for a child, you'll do fine. As long as a child's sleeping room meets local occupancy and safety codes, it's fine, and two children of the same gender and roughly similar ages can share a room (for example, NOT a toddler and a teen) if each has a place to store his/her belongings. For many children, especially from overseas, even a bedroom shared with just one other child -- not an entire family or a half dozen orphanage residents -- will be a huge improvement.As long as your car will accommodate a car seat in the back, and is safe, it doesn't have to be this year's model. Many people own older or used cars, and many find an economy car just fine. If you adopt a child now, and in a few years, decide to adopt again, you can upgrade to a larger car, if you need one.Fundraising can help with immediate fees, but do remember that you need a STABLE source of income to be approved to raise a child. If you face frequent layoffs or times without work, the level of stress you will have, as well as the amount of money you will have, may make raising a child a bad idea. You mention your job, but if you are married, your spouse may want to work, at least in the year or two before a child comes home. And no one will object if both spouses work, and use child care, as long as you have a plan that allows you to spend as much time as possible with your child and recognize the costs associated with child care. And if you get sick of the job instability, and feel that some additional education would help you get a job with more security, take a year or two before you adopt to finish that degree you started, or whatever.Don't focus too much on material things, like a fancy house or designer clothes. What will matter is whether you can create a joyful, positive environment. If schools in your area are good, terrific; if not, or if there are no options for a child who turns out to have a learning or medical issue, that's a better reason to move than simply getting a larger house. If you are adopting a child who is not of your race, or who is of an ethnic group that looks different from your family, it will be helpful to you and your child to have other people of the child's race or ethnicity in the area, so he/she doesn't feel out of place and can learn about his/her birth culture. Having other adoptive families around also helps. If you have relatives and friends in the area, as a social support system, that would also be important.Also, with international adoption, the various fees are generally spread out over the 18 months to two years, or more, that it takes to bring a child home. You don't pay everything up front, which gives you extra time to save money. In fact, the biggest component of international adoption fees is the travel, and you don't pay for that until shortly before you head to the foreign country. And while it's ideal if both parents can travel together, be aware that some countries allow one parent to stay at home for part or all of the travel; this can save you money on airfare, especially when adopting from countries that require two or more trips.Sharon

A. I agree with Sharon.B. With ' Adoption Grants ' it 's how you ' present yourself as a Family.'Do you have just a desire and an actual need, or just a desire to Adopt??C. If you are at this ' juncture ' or decision making point of the process. I would look at US Immigration's Website , and see where you stand Financially??If you do not have this financial . Than you don't have anything to move forwards with??D. From what you are saying. I am ' missing more pieces of the puzzle .' to give you more of a definitive answer as well also please??

Where do ya'll or what Country do ya'll desire to Adopt from?Would help us give ya'll more definitive answers as well also??

I am somewhat or quite ' curious ' as to why ya'll think.International Adoption is a lot or way easier than ' Foster to Adopt ' or Juvenile Dependency??What are ya'lls' expectations of Adoption ' in General ' as well also please??

I am ' somewhat curious ' also as to why ya'll feel?That you do no qualify for any part of the Tax Incentive or Tax Credit.

Sharon; I agree 1OO percent with you, but the Adoption perspective now in most Countries is . ' Ya'll have to adopt siblings . ' In advocacy or in order to adopt from that Country???

Juli,That's just not accurate. Yes, many countries have a hard time placing sibling groups, except for infant twins. In some African countries, for example, it is not uncommon to find three siblings available, of which at least one is of school age. But quite a few of those countries do permit adoption of a single child, and especially a single child with special needs. And China has almost no sibling groups, because the one-child policy generally prohibited families from having multiple children. In a few cases, China has allowed the adoption of two children, usually older, who are very bonded to each other and function much like siblings.Sharon

I'm not sure what any of this has to do with my original question, but let me try to answer several of the questions.1. Tax credit - there is a limit to the tax credits. Our gross income is too high to qualify. 2. We are older (husband 57). Therefore we are limited to the number of countries we can adopt from, and in some of those, we are limited by the age range (ex Poland no more than 40 yrs difference btwn parent and child). Latvia, the country we chose will let us adopt slightly younger (9yrs old) if individual, but if we adopt siblings, that age can be waived for the 2nd or 3rd child.3. We gave up on foster care after 5 years because we only got 1 referral - 16 & 17 yr old boys - that we couldn't handle due to threat of violence and weren't available for adoption anyway. We inquired about over 100 kids but rarely heard any status. We simply cannot keep waiting with little chance of a match.4. We are hoping to get elementary age children. Due to our age, we are looking for children that will not require continual care (i.e. special needs and living at home) for the rest of their lives. We understand there are going to be issues with learning, adjustment, attachment, etc. We can deal with the crying, bed wetting, depression, minor medical issues, tantrums, need for therapy, etc. We cannot deal with threats of violence to ourselves or pets. The mental issue we can't deal with is an eating disorder (as opposed to adjustment to American vs Latvian food, which we expect). Which brings me back to the question I originally asked: what to say to people who think that we make too much money to ask for financial assistance?

When ya'll ' Fund raise ' or ya'll ask for ' Sponsorships ' ??Are ya' ll primarily ' personalizing ' the Adoption, or can you do more with ' Orphan Outreach ' or ' Child Advocacy .'As older Parents, my Husband and I ( I am 49 and Husband is 46.) . We have never been approached . ' Why are ya'll Adopting or adding more Kids into your / ya'lls ' Family.' I am also not trying tp ' personal attack ' but when ya'll say. ' The issue is we can't afford the Kids we have .'What would be ya'lls ' response if someone said that to ya'll???These Kids are leaving or living in almost the same situation as well also!!What also would be ya'lls' expectation of their response??

' No Hands But OursMeet the Author of “You Can Adopt Without Debt”Posted: 08 Aug 2016 04:30 AM PDTJulieGumm“I’ve thought about adopting, but I could never afford it!”I think every adoptive family has either heard that comment, or maybe even thought it themselves at some point.It was those conversations — sometimes at church, sometimes in the grocery store — that led me to write “You Can Adopt Without Debt.”adoptwithoutdebtI’ve wanted to write a book since I was a kid leaving notes in my dad’s sock drawer.I just never imagined it would be a book about adoption. Of course, I never imagined that I would be adopting two beautiful kids from Ethiopia either.When Mark and I started on the path of international adoption in 2007 we had been living debt-free for over five years. (We’re big Dave Ramsey fans – you can read more about that story here.) While it was REALLY scary to step out in faith and commit to doing our adoption debt-free, we knew it was the right thing for us.Twelve months later we added Luke, 8, and Beza, 7, biological siblings, to our family, which included five-year-old Natalie and eight-year-old Noah.Every time we needed to write a check for an adoption expense, the money was there. God used our journey to teach me a lot about faith, provision and giving up control.Two years later, after having dozens of the aforementioned conversations the idea for the book began to take shape. The first version was self-published in 2011 and just a month after it’s debut God worked a crazy miracle and I found myself being interviewed on Dave Ramsey’s live syndicated radio show.After that God continued to show me that he had a plan far greater than mine. (You’d think that I’d already know this lesson well after an adoption.) A literary agent practically fell in my lap. She helped me revise and expand the book. Then the first publisher she pitched the expanded book to (Abingdon Press) picked it up.In 2015 a new, expanded version of the book was released. You may even recognize the picture on the cover of the book. Those feet belong to NHBO contributors Bryson and Mandy Moore.When people ask me why I wrote the book, the answer is short: hope.When that dollar amount looms large in front of an adoptive family I want them to see that there is a path forward.Throughout our own journey and in talking with the dozens of adoptive families I interviewed for the book there are some recurring themes – often easier to see in hindsight, of course.God’s Plan Is Always Better Than OursI don’t know about you, but I’m a planner, an organizer, a … well, I like to call myself a “control enthusiast.” Control and adoption are like oil and water – those two don’t mix. Obviously I had to give up control of the process, learning that EVERYTHING in Africa runs on a completely different timeline. But I often felt like I was walking blindfolded along a dark hallway when it came to the financial aspect too. Arms outstretched, walking just as far as I could reach with slow, shuffling steps. Money in the bank account for just the next fee due, knowing there was a long path in front of us.I had to remind myself that God’s vision was clear – he could see the larger picture. The amazing ways God showed up in our story still give me goose bumps. He provided miracles, both financial and timing wise that still serve as reminders today.JulieGummYou Have to Do the WorkWouldn’t it be nice to open the mailbox one day and find a five-figure check that covered the cost of your adoption? Yes, it’s been known to happen — one of the families in my book had their entire adoption paid for by a college student — but those stories are rare.One of my very first readers (who has since become a great friend) once said that fundraising for their adoption was like having a second full-time job. If I added up all the hours Mark and I spent gathering garage sale donations, listing stuff on Ebay, working freelance design jobs, and doing odds and ends to raise money, I’m sure it would come close.You’re going to have to sacrifice — whether it’s pedicures, meals out, or your free time. But there’s beauty in the hardship — recognizing that for every “sacrifice” I was making, my children were making more. The hard work of raising funds was preparing me for the hard work of rearing adopted kids.Invite Others Into Your StoryI love the picture that Paul gives of the early church in Acts 2.“And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people.” (v. 44-47)It’s easy to share the exciting news of your adoption decision with friends and family. But as the months, sometimes years, drag on we often start to close in on ourselves, afraid that people are tired of hearing our “still waiting” updates.It’s even scarier to open up and share about financial needs. Sometimes it will be enough to have garage sales and sell jewelry and take a second job, but sometimes God will ask us to risk just a little bit more — to make ourselves vulnerable, to humble our pride and ask for help.In those moments of transparency, God can do incredible things, especially through His people. Whether it’s rallying to meet a financial need, gathering prayer warriors to carry you through a hard time, or meeting physical burdens by bringing meals and cleaning your house, there are people waiting to come alongside you. Don’t rob them of the opportunity.……….Julie Gumm is married to her high school sweetheart and is the very busy mother to four teenagers. Two years ago they moved their family from Phoenix to Northwest Arkansas where Julie is the Director of Marketing Communications for her alma mater, John Brown University (hello, free college tuition x 4!) and Mark is an associate pastor.“You Can Adopt Without Debt” provides readers with a wealth of information, including the various types of adoptions, what to expect from the process whether you are adopting domestically or internationally, how to choose an agency or attorney, and many other details on what to do once you’ve decided to adopt. Reflecting on various challenges and successes, the book will help prospective adoptive parents prepare for and avoid the high costs associated with adoption. The book gives advice on how to budget, save, and earn extra income so that families can afford to make their adoption dreams come true. It also offers specific fundraising examples from 30 different families.Where to find Julie: Web || Twitter || FacebookThe post Meet the Author of “You Can Adopt Without Debt” appeared first on No Hands But Ours. '

Frankly, the correct answer to someone who comes out and asks that question is some version of, "Mind your own business." You do not have to discuss your finances with people who probably wouldn't have given you money, even if you were as poor as a church mouse.The best people to ask for help are family members who love you, and who want to see you fulfill your dream of having children. Some people do have success with asking non-family members, such as folks from their church. And some persuade their workplaces to start offering adoption grants -- usually relatively small amounts, under $5,000.Still, most people don't have relatives and friends who can give or loan them money, and most people also don't like asking. If you have a 401(k) or similar plan, borrowing against it makes better sense than getting a traditional loan. You are actually borrowing your own money, that way.Adoption loans by banks are relatively uncommon, and usually not that much better in interest charges than a straight unsecured personal loan. But a personal loan for a term of five years might be necessary, if your credit is good and you can get a decent rate.One question that foreign countries often ask older parents is what will happen if the parent who is the older one dies while the child is still a minor. In many countries, if one parent dies, the child winds up being placed in an orphanage or foster care, because the other won't be able to cope financially. Most countries will expect older parents to have greater financial security than younger ones, so that if one spouse dies, the surviving spouse will be able to continue raising the kids. This usually means lots of life insurance, and a good bit of savings. I adopted as a 51 year old single, and I was expected to have quite a bit of both.SharonSharon.

I disagree. If you're going to ask people for money for ANY purpose, then you need to be prepared to deal with questions and comments about that request. I regularly donate to various causes, but I check them out thoroughly before doing so. Why should this be any different?

Well, because of the hostility we've received when floating ideas about fundraising, we're giving up on that. My husband is looking into teaching college at night, even though he hated it last time. I'm going to stop making prayer shawls for the church and try to sell my afghans and other items at a local craft fair. At least that way I don't have to go thru the hassle of getting approval for outside employment.

I would also recommend . Before husband does something he doesn't really want to do?? Go look at the United States Immigration Website 's ' Expectations of Financial Income ' and see where ya'll stand ??International Adoption is 3 components Home Agency, Placement and United States Immigration.If you don't have all 3 components . Then nothing can happen at all..